All I can think of when the show begins is that Blake’s stylist needs to be fired immediately. He’s wearing one of those t-shirts that is supposed to look like a tuxedo. When we see the judges, Paula and Simon have switched chairs. Ryan introduces them and Simon does the Paula “seal” clap and then Paula does the Simon rubbing his chest move. Apparently Simon and Randy were talking about Jessica Alba being hot (we will be seeing a sneak peek of the new Fantastic 4 movie) and so Paula switched chairs. Ryan asks them some questions and Randy says this could be a shocker elimination and Paula said she thinks having 2 songs helped some of them.
The obligatory clip package of last night’s show finds them bashing most of the contestants at one song or another. Barry Gibb was the guest mentor and had good comments for Jordin and Melinda.
Ryan takes it to the streets to ask people about the show as has been the new trend this year. He gets a lady to sing “Stayin’ Alive” and most people say they like Jordin or Melinda. There are people who fight over whether or not Blake is good, then some ladies do a Paula clap. Finally some LaKisha love is shown and then a little girl says the Lakers are going to win it. Good call, little girl. I think, at this point, the Lakers would be more entertaining. I am now thinking to myself, “Why in the world is this show still an hour long for with only 4 people left?”
We next get a quick promo for the AI tour including a classic Sanjaya performance including the crying girl. Ryan tells the audience to lock up their daughters since Sanjaya will be on tour. Pink sings next (which I think is a taped performance that didn’t get to air during the Idol Gives Back special). She’s wearing a barely there “dress” that looks more like strategically placed electrical tape and sings “Who Knew”. It’s kind of weird because they are trying to make it look live, but it’s obviously not. How deceiving!
The Ford commercial is very Beatles-esque with the final four running away from a bunch of crazy fans and then driving away in a Ford while singing “You Really Got Me”. What is it with Ford commercials reusing songs contestants have already sung on the show? Are they too cheap to buy new rights? The question is which Idol went to Africa to benefit Idol Gives Back. The answer is Carrie (text B to 51555).
The final four do a tribute to Barry Gibb with a group sing. Melinda’s microphone isn’t working at first. I don’t think Blake’s or Jordin’s microphones are working either. Jordin looks like an amazon compared to the others because she’s already taller, but is wearing about three inch heeled boots. Bill Mahr is in the audience lip synching “Islands in the Stream”, but otherwise, nothing to write home about with that performance.
After commercial, Ryan calls LaKisha out for talking to herself and then asks Jordin about singing 2 songs. Blake is asked about getting panned by the judges and the LaKisha explains why she was nervous and wants to get another kiss from Simon. Ryan points out that Simon’s girlfriend is in the audience tonight so they’d better not kiss this time. He introduces a clip of the Idols watching the new Fantastic 4 movie. I haven’t seen the first one yet, so I have no idea if this one will be any good, but it’s something about a surfer that makes them change powers. They all pose and say they are the Fantastic 4 with LaKisha making some strange noise. The cast is in the audience and Jessica Alba tells everyone that it opens on June 15th (my birthday!) and to go see it twice.
Let’s sit through more video clips to drag this out even further as all of the contestants as they talk about growing up, their families, and they show pictures of when they were little. It’s sort of endearing in parts and funny in others. Some of them cry. They are all in the middle of the stage when the clips were over and Ryan sends it to commercial. There are still 17 minutes left, including a Barry Gibb performance, so of course he wasn’t going to reveal results yet.
They are in a group hug as they dim the lights and Ryan starts with LaKisha and then Melinda. He then recaps judges comments for Blake and finally Jordin. He tells Jordin she’s safe and to sit. She hugs everyone first and then sits. Ryan says they will find out the rest of the results in a bit. He introduces a clip looking for bands. They are casting for “The Band Show” which will be American Idol meets Battle of the Bands.
Barry Gibb takes the stage and all I can think of as he sings is the SNL skit with Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon doing the “Barry Gibb Talk Show”. He really does sound like that! Strangely enough, he sings “To Love Somebody” which Jordin knocked out of the park last night. Barry even told her that she sang it better than anyone else who has tried it. Are those his real teeth? I think they’re dentures, so I’m waiting for them to come flying out, but alas, the performance is not nearly that entertaining.
Finally, we can get to the real results. Melinda is immediately told she is safe and she goes to join Jordin on the couch. Randy mumbles about not knowing how it’s going to go. Simon wants to make a guess and Paula and Randy tell him not to. He guesses LaKisha anyway. Paula rambles about loving them and overcoming adversity. Blake is safe and LaKisha will be leaving. They share a long hug and we watch LaKisha’s goodbye clips of course set to Daughtry’s “Home”. She’s crying as she watches, but a little smile escapes when it shows her shared kiss with Simon. Everyone, including the judges, stands and applauds as she reprises “Stayin’ Alive”. She makes a round through the audience shaking hands.
Well, that’s it! We’re down to the final 3. Who will be the last booted contestant? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.