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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race, April 22nd – God Grant Me the Intelligence to Hide the Body


As Oswald and Danny’s taxi driver is looking for the right place, Oswald starts a “God grant me the serenity” prayer, and ends it with “the intelligence to hide the body of this man when I’m done killing him.” The beauty queens work on flattening the noodle dough, and one of them has to bounce up and down on a huge handle. Oswald and Danny’s driver finally delivers them, but he takes them instead to the end of the Detour, not the beginning. The beauty queens finish their noodles only to be told they are too thick, and they need to re-roll and flatten it.

Mirna and Charla are working on the flattening part as well, and say they cook all the time with their moms. After Oswald and Danny find where to pick up the head and drum, they carry them through the streets and are definitely having a hard time getting back to the delivery point. With Charla’s lack of height, she ends up standing on the table while they’re making the noodles. Remind me not to eat spaghetti at that restaurant in China. The beauty queen’s repeated attempt passes, and they get a clue to travel by taxi to get a mini car and get their next clue. As they leave, Eric and Danielle arrive, and he thinks they can beat Charla and Mirna at this. Charla and Mirna’s bundles of noodles don’t pass as they are too thick, upsetting Mirna since she was doing it thin, and Charla kept telling her to do it thick.

As Mirna and Charla continue to argue, Eric and Danielle finish and take off to find the mini cars. Oswald and Danny are still lost, and they ask locals to tell them where the lake is, and no one knows. Editing mutes out a word again, as Danny says, “How can you not know where your … lake is?” The beauty queens think they are probably in second as they arrive at the mini cars, and compare them to Barbie cars. Their clue tells them to drive to the next pit stop, Triho de Taipa Pequena 2000, on the island of Taipa. Dustin says she’ll need some practice driving this kind of car. Tall Kandice looks to be literally bent over in the back seat trying to fit.

Mirna and Charla are still arguing over thickness of noodles, and even in an interview obviously filmed later, Mirna badgers Charla to admit she made a mistake and was wrong with the thickness she told her to do, and Charla remarks, “We’re not all perfect like some people.” A little animosity between these two at this point, and it will be interesting to see how they feel about each other after the race. They finally finish and get the clue to go to the mini cars. Oswald and Danny are still arguing as well. The beauty queens and Eric/Danielle both find people to follow to get to the pit stop.

Oswald and Danny finally get their dragon head and drum delivered, and get a clue to go to the mini cars. Eric knows the stick shift in the mini cars will be trouble for some others, and as Charla and Mirna arrive, Mirna tries to get Charla to drive the car, saying the seat comes really forward. She wants Charla at this point to try and learn to drive stick. Mirna, forced to do it, says she doesn’t know what to do. This could be a first. Charla wants her to get it figured out, saying she doesn’t want to die.

Mirna gets some locals to get the car out of being stuck up on a curb, as Oswald and Danny also arrive at the mini cars. Oswald says this will be where he dies. Everyone is following a local to the island, and it’s Dustin and Kandice that arrive on Phil’s mat first. They win Waverunners, and admit to Phil their deal with Oswald and Danny. Eric and Danielle run in next, but need to wait out their thirty minute penalty before he can check them in. While they wait, Eric hopes no one else gets there, saying they’re all sneaky and backstabbers and don’t deserve it. Dustin and Kandice find them waiting and explain the deal to them. Eric is still pissed at Oswald and Danny, and wants to throw them off the roof when they arrive. When Kandice says they feel responsible, he says he’ll throw them as well.

Oswald and Danny arrive, but are in the wrong place. This allows Charla and Mirna to arrive on the mat for number two as Eric and Danielle continue to wait it out, with 14 minutes and 32 seconds left. As Oswald and Danny are deciding they are on the wrong side, and drive to the other, Eric and Danielle’s time expires, and they’re officially #3. Eric says they’re so lucky to even be standing there after everything they’ve been through, and he’s afraid the rest of his hair will fall out and he’ll need double Propecia.

Oswald and Danny arrive in last place, but Phil has good news for them, that it’s the last of the non-elimination legs. They say they’re happy, just tired. Phil also lets them know there’s a team that isn’t very happy with them because of the Yield. Oswald says they are accountable for their actions and did what they had to do given what they had. They know that after talking about bad karma this whole time, it’s finally bit them in the ass. It’s not their proudest moment, and they consider the Yield the root of all evil.

Eric says he has no respect for Danny and Oswald, and Dustin says everyone will be fighting their hearts out on the next leg. Mirna says she and Charla will be in the final three if it kills them, and Eric knows they have the capabilities to win the million if they just concentrate, focus, and haul ass. Danny says at the end of the day, he and Oswald will in. I’m not counting them out, as they’ve done so well this entire race. I’m not counting anyone out, especially not Eric and Danielle as they’ve showed such pluck to keep on coming back. Even Mirna and Charla, who would have thought they’d make it this far? And by the way they all came in, they can’t be that much apart in time from first to last. It’s truly anyone’s game.

Thoughts about the show? Email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com

For more on Rob and Amber, see The Latest on Rob and Amber and My Review of Rob and Amber: Against the Odds. For more on Uchenna and Joyce, see Uchenna and Joyce


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