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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race All Stars, April 8th – Malaysia – Clutterbugs and Dirty, Dirty Hookers


Charla and Mirna arrive at the caves, and see the marker. This requires them to run up a huge set of stairs, definitely reminiscent of Rocky, and they decide people in this country don’t need Stairmasters. At the top, they find a clue that tells them to travel by taxi to the Kampung Baru Mosque and search the nearby streets for a Yield. While they discuss using the Yield, I’m thinking once there, they’ll see they are the first ones, and knowing they are hours ahead, they shouldn’t use the Yield and create even more problems with the others.

Oswald and Danny get off at the Central Bus Terminal, but Eric and Danielle continue on, thinking the next terminal will get them closer than that. Charla and Mirna decide not to Yield, as Mirna explains they are choosing to play it clean and to win by their own efforts, and Charla says she wouldn’t want to see her face Yielded. Is that another collective eye roll I see? They are then faced with a Detour – Artistic Expression or Cookie Confection. In Artistic Expression, teams will use an ancient technique known as batik to duplicate a pattern onto cloth. In Cookie Confection, teams will search through 600 boxes of cookies for the “one” with a black licorice center.

They key is that both of these tasks require the teams to travel by foot, and as Aurora here at Reality Shack astutely realized, Charla and Mirna travel by taxi. Teams have been punished for this before once they reach the pit stop. The cousins decide on the cookies, as Mirna says in a singsong tone, “Cookies with licorice; it can’t get better than this!”

Oswald and Danny note that all three of the teams on the last plane took different routes. Dustin and Kandice get off at a bus stop, not the bus station. Mirna and Charla are still working their way through the task, as they say it’s a “lot of damn cookies.” Kandice doesn’t feel really good about the path they’re following to get to the Batu Caves. Eric and Danielle hope it will work out for them as they wait for their bus. Charla and Mirna tell the cookie vendor they like his cookies a lot, as they spit them out on the floor to keep eating more.

Oswald and Danny arrive at the Batu Caves and make their way up the stairs as Eric and Danielle are still on their bus, and Dustin and Kandice are stepping off the bus. Running up the stairs, the beauty queens see a monkey running along the steps with them. They talk about who they should Yield, and decide to Yield Eric and Danielle, despite the fact they have worked together. They know they will be hated forever. Eric and Danielle arrive at the steps to the cave shortly after.

Oswald and Danny walk around searching for the Yield marker and can’t find it, yet Danielle and Kandice spot it from their taxi on an overhead bridge. They decide to Yield Eric and Danielle and put up their own “ugly pics” so that Eric and Danielle will know who left them this lovely gift. They say this is nothing but strategy and not personal. You have to ask yourself why they would do this. They should know by looking who has been through here and who hasn’t. They should realize Uchenna and Joyce missed their flight, and in that case, it makes no sense to Yield anyone. They’re just creating enemies with prior friends.

The beauty queens decide to do the batiking, saying it’s way too many cookies. Mirna, meanwhile is asking the crowd that has gathered to cheer them on, saying they have lots of fans in Malaysia, and it really boosts their ego. Yet another collective eye roll? As the cousins complain they are wasting time, and that the other teams will be catching up to them, you have to wonder if they have been eating cookies for the past 2-1/2 hours. Then you have to ask yourself why the cousins chose this Detour when they have historically done badly on eating challenges, as late as just last week with the sausage. Charla can’t eat that much.

The beauty queens arrive at the batiking, and Kandice notes how pretty it is. They should be able to take their creation home, I think, as a reminder of their time. Phil, make a note of that. Oswald and Danny finally find the Yield and know Eric and Danielle will be pissed off to find themselves Yielded. Oswald wants to do the cookies, but Danny wants to do the art. He says it could take long, but this is the time to do that, and I think he means because they know Uchenna and Joyce are no-shows and Eric and Danielle will be Yielded.

Eric and Danielle rush up the bridge, only to find themselves Yielded. Eric calls the blondies “Dirty, dirty hookers,” and when Danielle asks why they did that, Eric says, “Because we’re dirty pirate hookers.” She says all they did was make enemies for no reason. Exactly, as Uchenna and Joyce are nowhere to be found, and will surely be eliminated. Eric rips the “ugly pic” in half of the beauty queens, and mockingly says, “I’m Miss New York! I’m Miss California.” Danielle is just shocked, as they’ve gone along with the beauty queens before, and she realizes it says a lot about their character, as they’re obviously a little fake and phony. On her last season, Danielle was eliminated because of a Yield, and she considers it shady. Meanwhile, Kandice is saying if they hadn’t Yielded, they’d be regretting it.


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