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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race, April 1st – You Can Carry a Mannequin, But You Can't Carry a Tune


Mirna finishes as Charla continues to eat. As Mirna yells at her to swallow it straight down, Charla appears to shove something down her throat so she can puke in a bucket as Kandice holds her hair back. Danielle and Bill cover their ears to not hear it as they continue to eat. Once Bill finishes as well, Eric and Danielle work on finishing, and both finish before Charla. They receive a clue saying they are no longer working together, and must choose a marked car, then drive themselves to the town of Skala and the Pieskowa Skala Castle. Charla finishes just after.

Bill seems shocked that they have to now drive themselves. Dustin and Kandice take off right away, as Charla complains, saying she doesn’t feel good at all and feels like she’s going to die. Inside the car, Mirna can’t get the emergency brake down, and the Guidos and Eric and Danielle take off, passing them. Mirna asks the taxi driver to come help them with the parking brake, and loses her patience with Charla who is trying to help, snapping at her to not to tell her how to drive anymore, as she’s sick of it. Perhaps she should stop telling Charla to hurry then. The Guidos stop to buy a map at a gas station. Mirna screams at Charla to give her the clue, and then yells at the taxis saying she only needs one taxi. She figures they’re probably in last position as usual. Eric and Danielle stop for directions and as the two taxis Mirna is following stop, she continues her plea, saying she only needs one taxi and doesn’t have time to play games.

As Team Guido drive to Skala, they know it’s essential they stay thirty minutes ahead of the others. Joe says one thing they know is that Mirna can’t drive worth a damn. Mirna is still pleading with the taxis as they ask her for $100. She says she doesn’t have that to give anybody as she’s not a a millionaire. $100 = $1,000,000? I’m thinking she has to have better math skills than that to make it through law school. She asks for a little bit of sympathy as a human being, as she’s there at 2 AM. She begs and notes that she’s crying while the driver is laughing. She offers $40, and they agree on $50. She now makes a plea to God to help her get out of this country.

The beauty queens are following the signs to get there, as Team Guido figure they are about halfway there. The driver Eric and Danielle are following stops, and they wonder if he doesn’t want to take them all the way there. Mirna says there is not one sign there is another human being out there, and figures it will be a miracle if the driver knows where he’s going. He stops and she screams at Charla to give her the clue, saying she’s doing everything, the least Charla can do is hold onto the clue.

Mirna tells the driver they need a shortcut, then yells at Charla asking her what she’s doing in the backseat, as she’s not looking at a map or holding onto the clue. Mirna asks if she’s supposed to do everything, and Charla snaps back yes she is, and she’s also supposed to yell at her. Then she just agrees, “Yeah, you’re right, you’re doing everything. Can you yell a little more at me or is this not enough?” Okay, this day goes down in history, as Charla fights back!

The beauty queens reach the castle first, and find a Roadblock. One member of each team will need to put on a full suit of authentic medieval armor, and will lead a horse through the castle gates and deliver it to the stable. There they will search for the pit stop. Dustin decides to do it, as they hear a car pull up. It’s Charla and Mirna. They go back and forth on who should do it, but it’s Charla doing it, which is probably not a wise choice, as the armor is one size fits all, and it’s a walking challenge. She asks how to stop the horse, worried it will trample over her. Mirna tells her she knows it’s hard, but she needs to just walk a straight line. If she goes in circles, the horse will go in circles.

Eric and Danielle and the Guidos arrive at the Road block, with Eric and Bill doing the task. Mirna continues to berate Charla, telling her she’s not going in a straight line and is confusing the horse. Dustin and Kandice deliver their horse and find the pit stop. They are team #3. Mirna continues to yell, telling Charla she needs to navigate the horse. She asks if Charla actually wants the other teams to pass them while they just stand there. I swear, if I was Charla, I would punch her. But instead, Charla falls over. Mirna tells her things are hard in life sometimes. Charla pleads with the horse to not kill her, and Mirna urges her to realize she needs to be the one in control. Charla tells the horse something about eating sausage. They, somehow, make it on the mat in fourth place.

The Guidos arrive in fifth place, but must wait out their thirty minutes, and it’s not looking good. Bill knows their probable fate and says they did their best. Eric and Danielle arrive on the mat moments later for fifth place, making Joe and Bill the sixth team to arrive, eliminating them. Bill says that in their life, they can’t think of a time when they’ve had more fun together. He’s crying, but it’s been great. Joe says they will walk away with their heads held high, and be proud of what they have accomplished. He talks about finding the one person you know you’re destined to be with, saying Bill has been his knight in shining armor for twenty years now.

Joe ends it, saying, life is supposed to be enjoyed, and you’re supposed to surround yourself with love and happiness. There are a few people here that could take note of this. I won’t mention names, but one can’t stop talking about boobs, and the other can’t see the forest for the trees, while she continues to berate her partner and tell her to hurry constantly. She wants others to always take into consideration her partner’s abilities, but can’t seem to do it herself.

Thoughts about the show? Email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com

For more on Rob and Amber, see The Latest on Rob and Amber and My Review of Rob and Amber: Against the Odds. For more on Uchenna and Joyce, see Uchenna and Joyce


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