I’m in a state that to be honest doesn’t happen to me regularly. Yes, that’s right. I’m speechless. What’s going on America? Did you somehow confuse the process of voting for with voting against? I was sure that last week was a fluke and that you guys were just playing around with your power. But apparently, it was for real. Twelve yes, top no.
This week’s lame theme was things we don’t know about the Idols. And there was a reason we didn’t know them. Either they were odd like Blake’s improv character or they were odder like Melinda’s borderline OCD. Less sharing is better.
Highlights for me this week:
Low points (besides the results):
And now for the results show that made history, for all the wrong reasons.
We start with the atrocious group sing. I’m still not sure if the choice “Stuck in the Middle with You” was a pun but I do know that the choreography (and I use that term loosely) was funny. But why am I wasting time on this when all you care about are the results.
In order of acceptance into the top twelve swivel stools of glory: Blake, LaKisha, Big Chris, Jordin and Boy George. Boy George!!!!! What are you guys thinking bringing his hat-wearing, freaky-eyed presence into the top twelve? Who’s out? Jared. And you know what? He’s pissed. You can tell that His Hotness isn’t used to hearing no. What I’ll miss most? The face move. Back to the approved: Melinda, Brandon, Gina and Chris R. (aka JT Jr.).
Then we break for Carrie Underwood who looked fantastic. Unfortunately, she didn’t chat at all which kind of confirms my belief that she’s a robot.
Ah, but don’t get too comfortable because the beatdowns continue. Antonella’s going home. I bet Playboy was the first call she received. Stephanie’s in and so’s Haley, which means Sabrina’s out. Yes, I said Haley.
The big important announcement Ryan’s been threatening us with all week – two nights in April when Idol will focus on poverty in the US and Africa, with lots of celebs and sponsors donating money. There was a bizarre Sally Struthers-like clip of Ryan and Simon in Africa. You’ll be interested to know that Simon dresses exactly the same whether he’s in LA or Africa. But the oddest thing? While the judges were speaking their lines (so convincingly), none of them mentioned any personal contributions they’ll be making. There was talk of giving back but none of the giving seemed to be coming from any of their pockets. I would think that in the spirit of the idea, they should check their own wallets before imploring the viewers.
And finally, after making them sweat it out to the bitter end, Ryan sends Sundance home and Sanjaya makes into the top twelve. Now do you see what you’ve done?
Paula was in shock and probably upped her meds because of this. Randy didn’t even let one dawg out and Simon’s face said it all. This is your top twelve. What were you thinking?
Mali Perl works in finance but her heart belongs to entertainment. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Season 6 is certainly shaping up to be a season to remember but one that she’s already trying to forget.