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Freelance entertainment writer, martial arts instructor, and mother of two.

The Amazing Race: All Stars, March 4th – Dave, Why Ain't You Gettin' Any?


Eric wants Danielle to try a different approach, telling her to pick up the tray with the fish, and put her boobs on it to hold the fish down. Rob says Eric is making comments about her breasts, and it’s not that he wasn’t ever saying stuff about Amber, but they were certainly different types of comments. As Danny is transporting fish, he falls over. Kentucky arrives, and as Dave begins, Mary yells out, “Dave, why ain’t you gettin’ any?” She then tells the camera he’s afraid of fish and never touches them. He admits he never liked fish. I’m right there with ya, Man.

Uchenna finishes, and finds the clue at the bottom of the breeding tank that says to find the sign for the La Manquina along the river of Petrohue, and search for his next clue. Dave really gets it together, and starts slamming the fish in the bin. Mary yells out, and tells him she loves him. Joe finishes and Mirna and Charla arrive, and Mirna decides to transport the fish. Amber finishes, as does Danielle. Amber makes a comment about never wanting to do something with flounder the rest of her life, and I’m imagining she said either see or eat. Danielle says it was the hardest thing for her, as she hates fish.

Mirna is very scared to do this, and Charla cheers her on, telling her she can do it. Mirna is nearly crying, because she’s freaking out so much. Eric and Danielle and Romber stop and talk directions, and decide to work together to find the next clue. Rob says that to have another team with him is insurance, and knowing that it leaves him in close position with someone else, any day of the week, he and Amber would be odds on favorites. Kandice finishes, as does Dave. I keep looking at Dave and Mary on this leg of the race, and think they are so much better alone that with another team.

Mirna says they could be there for hours, and Ian bemoans that they are falling further and further behind. Teri finally finishes, as does Danny, and Oswald makes him promise to do more cardio. Teri and Ian get directions on the way out, and Mirna is still working on it. Uchenna and Joyce stop and ask for directions, and after he hugs a woman to thank her for helping them, Uchenna apologizes for smelling like a fish. Back on the road, Joyce can’t help but notice the view, saying the mountain is breathtaking. Mary says they don’t like the ocean, but they sure like lookin’ at it. Huh?

Mirna finally finishes with her fish, and the Team Guido is looking for directions. Romber, Eric, and Danielle find the clue by the river, and reach a Detour – Vertical Limit or River Wild. In Vertical Limit, teams will walk to a cliff, and both members will complete a rock climb. Each will receive one half of the clue at top, and bring it back down to put it together. In River Wild, teams will backtrack two miles to the bank of the river, and choose a boat with a guide. They will complete a whitewater river rafting course to get their next clue. Both teams decide on the rafting.

Uchenna and Joyce arrive and also decide on the rafting. While driving back to the rafting course, Amber reads that the river has category 3 and 4 rapids, and says she’s rafted before, so knowing that upfront totally wigs her out. Dustin and Kandice are still searching for La Maquina, as are David and Mary. David passes something and asks what it is, and Mary tells him not to worry about it. What he passed was the exit for La Maquina. Mirna and Charla stop to ask for directions, and the Guidos are right behind them. Mirna asks a local to come with them to show them where La Maquina is, but he says he can’t, as he has to work. She offers him $50, and he takes her up on it. Charla tells the Guidos to split the fee with them, and not “screw us like the girls did.” Mirna tells the local, “Welcome to Mirna and Charla World. It’s a scary one.” For you or for the other people?

Rob and Amber arrive at the rafting place, and find tents set up where they need to change. Eric and Danielle are searching for it still, and they run into Uchenna and Joyce who are doing the same. As Rob and Amber are told if they fall in not to panic. Dustin and Kandice can’t find the sign for La Maquina, Teri/Ian and Oswald/Danny reach the Detour, and also decide on rafting. The Beauty Queens arrive at the river guides, and assume that this is their next clue, not realizing it’s part of a Detour. Amber screams out, “Holy crap! This is insane!” while riding the rapids.

Eric and Danielle finally find the rafting, and are shocked to see “The Blondies” getting their stuff on. They ask the river guide if they’re supposed to look for the clue while rafting, and he says he doesn’t know. David and Mary stop to ask for directions, and find they passed La Maquina quite awhile go. They aren’t the only ones that are lost, as even though Mirna and Charla picked up the local, they’re stopped asking for directions along with the Guidos. While Mirna asks for Petrohue, Joe asks what that has to do with anything. He shows the clue he wrote down, and Mirna tells him he never wrote the end of the clue down. All he had written was La Maquina. She tells him they’re lucky they’re with her and Charla. Back in their car, she tells Charla she can’t believe they told the Guidos about Petrohue, and decides she and her cousin just aren’t “cut throat” enough for the competition. So withholding info is cut throat, but cutting in line and snooping around isn’t. Interesting line she has drawn.


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