For those of you who haven’t met me through my recaps or commentary on Dancing with the Stars, Rockstar or Top Model, prepare yourself for a different kind of sharing. Oh, I’ll be recapping a’plenty but I refuse to subject you to the torturous filler of results night. Let’s enjoy together, shall we?
After a less than stellar introduction to “your top 24” (why “your”? You didn’t choose them), it’s time to make some much needed cuts. Honestly, I wouldn’t care if twelve went home tonight but it’s that’s not “reality.”
Some thoughts as to this week’s performances. Blake surprised me with his somewhat soulful Keane choice, Funny Chris was good but shouldn’t have gotten into it with Simon (the Il Divo/Teletubbies comment went too far), Backup Brandon gave me a Lenny Kravitz-lite feeling and Bald Phil looks a lot like Boy George. As for the girls, Stephanie was channeling Fantasia, Jordin was original, Backup Melinda was polished, Gina needs to dial down the at-ti-tude and LaKisha was in a class by herself. Usually, I nail down my favorites during the first week but I can’t muster that much excitement about anyone. I can’t help but feel that the judges made some bad choices and let good singers go during Hollywood week while keeping people who impressed them way back in the auditions. Sure, they’re not that polished yet but most of them lack that quality that immediately makes me sit up and take notice (not easy to do when I’m embedded in the couch).
Ryan was in serious mode, sporting a suit. He announced the stars who’re going to be on the show this year and it’s an impressive list of people with stuff to promote: Diana Ross, Jon Bon Jovi, Jennifer Lopez, Gwen Stefano, Tony Bennett, Martina McBride and then a few less interesting folks. Then everyone did a group song which looked bizarre on the tiny stage. There wasn’t much time of individual comments but Funny Chris apologized to Simon, which I thought was smart and classy. Then Ryan hit up the guys first, knocking out Shoeless Paul. The girls were up next and Amy got sent home. Who? Exactly.
But hold up, it’s time for some cross-promotion. Fantasia strolled on stage to sing a song and it just so happens that it’s from The Color Purple, the Broadway musical she’s joining. Ryan introduced Quincy Jones, who was in the audience and then just as quickly cut him off. Seriously. Q started to talk about Fantasia in the role and then, mike’s off. Fantasia sang as she always does, with her whole body, like she’s going to pass out from lack of oxygen at the end. Paula, who was still bouncy from earlier in the week (paging Paula’s doc, lower the dosage), got all teary.
Then Ryan kicked out Nicole and Rudy. Nicole was the girl who completely changed her look and style, which was a mistake and Rudy, well, Rudy just made me uncomfortable.
Mali Perl works in finance but her heart belongs to entertainment. She can be reached at email@example.com. She suggests that the producers of Idol add a seat belt to Paula’s chair because girlfriend needs some core stabilization.