Sometimes when I’m watching MTV, I think to myself, [i]Something must be wrong with me.[/i] I think that when Parental Control comes on. I’ve never asked my parents to pimp me out to strangers. I’ve never dated a guy who would treat my parents like crap. Apparently, that’s what the kids are up to these days. I’m really not all that old but I’m somehow incredibly far removed from the crazy antics of these youngsters. So here’s a comparison of what dating was like when I was younger and what dating is like on Parental Control.
First off, I would never, ever date someone who cursed in front of my parents. No guy would talk about sex in front of my parents, not even Discovery Channel animal mating show sex. No guy would mumble, wear inappropriate clothing, or cut me down in front of my parents. No guy would intentionally pass gas in front of my parents.
Today girls are apparently more into dirty rude boys than they are into pleasing their parents. The guys that sit with the parents while the girls are out on their dates with new potentials are crude. They talk to their girlfriend’s parents as if they were talking in the locker room. They talk about having hours and hours of hot monkey love. They talk about how the daughters wait on them. They tell the parents to shut up and go away.
The same goes for the boys who have their parents set them up. Their girlfriends wear short shorts, low cut blouses, and burp and curse and sometimes hit.
And if I ever did bring someone like that home, my parents would have him out on his ass in under two minutes.
Not these parents. Instead, these parents antagonize and bicker back like three year olds. They allow their sons and daughters to have relationships with these jackasses. They allow these jackasses to sit in their houses and disrespect them.
I would never allow my parents to pick out boys for me to date. These guys and girls are all for their parents choosing potential new girlfriends and boyfriends. The parents go through a round of interviews in which they sometimes ask inappropriate questions like “show me your best temper tantrum” or “show off your best muscle.”
I would never make out with, shower with, or grope a boy on a date if I knew my parents were watching. These boys and girls don’t seem to mind. Most of the parents don’t seem to mind either. Instead they sit there and say, Oh look, our little one is having such an enjoyable time!
I suppose Parental Control is a last resort for parents who have no control over their child’s horrible dating decisions. Parental Control offers a way for parents and children to bond. It blurs and distorts boundaries never meant to be blurred or distorted. It causes much absurd discomfort and makes me squirm. Still, the whole point behind the show is important.
[b]And THIS is why I love reality tv[/b]: Despite the utter absurdity and awkwardness, sometimes we see the great lengths parents will go to for their child to see the light and be happier in the long run. Reality TV offers a platform for parental love.
At least that’s how I justify the fact that when Parental Control comes on, I just can’t seem to change the channel, as much as I want to look away.
Have your parents ever pimped you out? Email me by clicking on my envelope. Chat in the forums! Or come [b][url=http://christinamrau.blogspot.com]Live The Dream[/url] [/b]with me, one loser at a time. Hey, maybe I should look into getting my parents to set me up. Can’t be any worse than what I’ve got.