Woo Hoo! A new season of The Amazing Race is here to save us from the funky taste that Treasure Hunters left in our mouths. And it looks like we have plenty to look forward to as the Amazing Race as amazingly found race. We have an incredibly diverse collection of racers gathering in Seattle this season. What does this snarky Amazing Fan think of them all?
Peter & Sarah: newly dating triathletes from Southern California. Sarah has an artificial leg, and conveniently Peter is a clinical prosthetist. Despite her handicap, I really see them going far, as they both seem upbeat and obviously athletic. Some folks have tried to argue against her “special treatment” getting to pre-board the plane, but really, what time and order they get ON the plane really doesn’t make a difference, seeing as the plane lands at the same time for everyone who’s on it. Besides, I know from experience that pre-boarding is really just a way to make life easier for everyone, not just the pre-boarder in question. Finally, it’s called a handicap for a reason. Whatever small benefits she may receive in regards to transportation does not make up for the EXTRA work she has to go through on a daily basis. Example: “bleeding” hydraulic fluid.
Bilal & Sa’eed: best friends from Cleveland, Ohio. But of course, their friendship isn’t what makes them so significantly noticeable. The men are Muslims, following a religion that has strict rules about prayer and interaction. I know some folks were up in arms about not shaking hands with the girls, but honestly people, it has nothing to do with any thoughts of inferiority. Rather, it’s a sign of respect. Muslims believe that interaction between males and females is reserved for family and married couples. It’s a shame the editors didn’t leave in what was going to be a humble explanation from the guys. It was obvious they knew it would be a ‘touchy’ subject. (Bad, I know.) Unfortunately, these guys were Philiminated early in a mid-episode twist, which really sucks because it would be nice if they could have stuck around and taught the American public that not all Muslims are terror-wielding radicals. Arguably one of the more potentially interesting teams of the season, and they’re already gone. “Do Muslims worship Buddha?” –Kellie & Jamie. *facepalm* Oh man…
Rob & Kimberly: dating from Los Angeles. Neurotic boyfriend and crazy girlfriend who both have control issues. Check. And they’re using the race to see where they should take their relationship. Since these people (and many others) seem to think that a competition is great couples therapy, we can expect lots and lots of bickering. Bleh.
Dustin & Kandice: beauty queens from New York City. First off, isn’t Dustin a boy’s name? Bah. I shouldn’t get into it. Genders have been swapping names for a while now. These two are so plastic… and beauty queens! Did you forget? They’re friends, competitors, and beauty queens! Don’t forget! Seriously, “Miss New York” and “Miss California” are just pretend-titles. They’re not actual NAMES that you need to introduce yourselves to everyone with.
David & Mary: married coal miner and housewife from Stone, Kentucky. Now, now, don’t go think that just because they’re from Kentucky that they’re some kind of backwoods, drawling stereoty— oh wait… never mind. Neither of them are particularly, well, attractive, which makes me wonder if there are any hijinks in the editors placing them in order after the beauty queens. Mary however sees it differently, telling the audience that her husband is “so cute, and I’m just normal.” Awww… how sweet. Mary has started to break out of her shell and wants to be taken seriously by her husband though. This should prove interesting, seeing as Mary has been on a plane less than a handful of times. While I expect plenty of nagging, I get the notion that there will be enough genuinely sweet moments in between to make up for it. But um, just how does “Quack quack!” interpret into “real fast!”??
Erwin & Godwin: brothers from the San Francisco Bay area. Being college grads and gym bunnies, the two Brothers Cho pride themselves on being a good combination of brains and brawn. They might want to re-think the ‘brains.’ These two actually haul out a couple of water guns… inside an AIRPORT. Oh yeah. Some real winners there. Security had a word to say about their immature and stupid shenanigans. I do think however that their athleticism may carry them far in this game, but I do not think they will… ‘win’. (Ok ok, I’ll stop now.)
Duke & Lauren: father and daughter from Rhode Island. These two spent several years apart after Lauren came Out to her father. Duke says that he loves his daughter, but that when he looks at her, he feels disappointed and starts crying. Oh. Hellllllll. Naw. First impressions are everything, and the first thing I get from Duke is pathetic homophobia? That is f—ked up. Looking at this man makes me cringe and use questionable language now. *points* You! Off my planet! The two say they want to work on their relationship. Why do people insist on using the Race as therapy?
Vipul & Arti: husband and wife from Orlando, Florida. Woo! The very first Indian-American team on the Race! Wait… what? They’re gone already? Well crap.
Kellie & Jamie: best friends and cheerleaders from South Carolina. Yay, they’re clapping! They like to entertain each other and have fun… and clap! Jamie says they could have a conversation with a doorknob. *crickets chirp* I certainly believe it. More clapping!
Tyler & James: recovering drug addicts and models from Hollywood, California. I really want to know just what they were in rehab for. What is something serious like cocaine? Or did they find themselves popping one too many Excedrins? Two athletic white guys. Gee, I wonder how well they’ll do. What? They came in first place? Shocker!
Lyn & Karlyn: lifelong friends and single mothers from Birmingham, Alabama. Other than their griping about Sarah’s handicap, I don’t recall anything particularly memorable about them. So… yeah. Next!
Tom & Terry: boyfriends from New York City. Good friggin’ lord, can’t we for once have a gay couple that’s attractive? Geez. Instead, this season we have the Richard Simmons clone-rejects. And these guys aren’t just gay. They’re gayyyyyyyy. They vibrate on faaaabulous level that’s just too much. While I love that TAR is trying its best to include everyone from all walks of life, do they have to pick such strong stereotypes? I can just imagine it now, “If we don’t pick the most effeminate gays we can find, the audience might confuse them for straight!” Grrr. Seriously, we need some gays on television that don’t have Judy Garland’s purse falling out of their mouths.
All in all, MOST of the teams are fairly tolerable. While I do have issues with a couple of the teams, most of them I don’t want to attack maliciously, unlike previous seasons. It sucks that the Eastern religions were done away with so early in the Race, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. It looks to be a very promising season.
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