First and foremost, this was the wrong game, wrong time for you. Understandably, plans for All Stars were probably put in place before you faced two losses this year, but regardless, they happened. You were too fragile walking into this the house to put up with the pressures of this game. I give you all the credit in the world for outlasting, despite the fact that this isn’t even Survivor, but when you walk through those doors you have to be ready to be played and to play others. The events the last few weeks speak of you just not being in a good place.
Yet, you called some of that to attention yourself. The early weeks of the game you were flirting with Kaysar and all over him, crying to him at night that you were lonely. The thing is, I’m sure it was true, but you were also using that information for your gain at that time. You used it to gain Kaysar’s sympathy, which makes it hard for us later on to feel sorry for you when you’re getting played by Goobie.
As if it wasn’t bad enough that you were entering the house after the loss of a boyfriend and your dog, you were also entering into it with a mad crush on one of the other HGs. Everyone talks about keeping emotions out of the game, but you were walking in with ones already in full swing. You left yourself so open. Make no mistake about it, though, Goobie is still an ass for saying the things he did about you, but it was there for the taking.
Just like you, Goobie came into this game with an axe to grind, and he wasn’t going to be denied. But he was stable. He could play the game with reckless abandon, because he simply wanted the prize, he didn’t need it. He wasn’t coming off any losses, he was coming off things going well for him. He had the upper hand. You can say you played him just as much as he played you, but that isn’t true. You may have been sitting next to him in the final two, but he and Will played you like a fiddle, and the rest of the HGs made up the rest of the band.
If you had been playing him, and had known that it was working vice versa, your wouldn’t have embarrassed yourself the way you did. You wouldn’t have climbed into his bed, on camera, said hello to your mom, and proceeded to do God only knows what under the covers. You wouldn’t have gushed about him every chance you got to the DR cameras. And you certainly wouldn’t have spent the past few weeks talking about the baby you were going to have with him as if the only thing left to be decided was the name.
Goobie was only playing the game, and having fun, the whole time, that was it. Granted, his play definitely stepped over the line a few times. Leading you to believe there was a baby with him in your future was deplorable. He made jokes about the loud ticking of that biological clock of yours, yet when he tried to let you down easy, it sounded more like, woe is me, as he bemoaned not having sex since December and being too busy with his work. Here’s one for you … Goobie is busy at work because he is afraid to commit to anyone emotionally. He’ll be the guy that never comes home from work, and when he does, he’ll be out with the guys.
As if your original confusion wasn’t enough, the past few weeks you seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper, and by this weekend, it appeared as if you were definitely off the deep end. To be making the bold-faced comments you did, saying you were the best player in the game, you deserved to win, and that you took out the brains of Chill Town was just ludicrous. Did you come up with a desperate strategy to save yourself and did it work? Yes, but you kind of went against a cardinal rule. When two chicks are bonding over the guys that broke their hearts, and one girl talks the other girl into breaking up with her boyfriend, the other one doesn’t go the next day and get rid of her friend and hop into bed with her guy. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Instead, the two girls should be left drowning their sorrows in Ben and Jerry’s.
You took Goobie with you to the final two for two reasons. For one, you think he’s adorable, and for another, you thought you could beat him, yet you still lost 6-1. Had you taken Janelle with you to final two, you still would have lost, and most likely by the same margin, but you would have kept your self respect, and our respect for for you as well. There isn’t anyone, then, that could say anything about your gameplay, as you would have taken out both Chill Town. But now, it doesn’t look like good game play, it just looks likes like wanting to stick around and play house with a cute boy a little while longer.
Game aside, I do hope you get everything worked through. No matter how you look at it, after discovering tonight that Goobie never had a serious romantic interest in you, you’ve suffered four big losses in a mater of months – a boyfriend, a dog, now another boyfriend, and also the game. Your erratic behavior speaks for the need of some help working through everything. I do sincerely hope you get the help you need.
What would you say to Erika, given the chance? Email me at LauraBelle@realityshack.com.