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Chill Town, Population: One – Big Brother 7 All Stars, 09/05/06


So what’s been going on here in Big Brother land? A surprise double eviction quickly brought the house from six to four, and we said good-bye to Danielle and George. Chill Town is the only remaining alliance, giving Will a shot at winning the game for a second time. While Mike Boogie romanced Erika into believing she was safe, Will continued to work his magic on Janelle, and Operation: Double Date continued to be a success. At the Head of Household competition, Chill Town moved one step closer to the half-million dollar prize, leaving both girls vulnerable. Who will win the final Power of Veto, and can Chill Town show-mance their way to the Final Three?

The storms are brewing outside as well as inside the Jury House in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, and the sequestered jury members have to evacuate to a place with one less hurricane. In the safer but certainly less glamorous house, Marcellas is thankful but whines about the one natural disaster still present: “So now it’s just Hurricane Howie. Great.” Howie and Marcellas can’t get along, as Howie incessantly taunts Marcellas and complains that Marcellas is too grumpy. I’d be grumpy too if I were stuck in a house with that big buffoon. Marcellas grumbles, “I’m only negative because I’m around you, otherwise I’m a peach.” Howie continues, “You didn’t get voted out because you’re such a strong player. They voted you out because they hated your guts.” He says Marcellas “is annoying; he’s relentless; he’s a baby. He’s probably the worst houseguest in Big Brother history.” James sits silently on the sidelines, watching the boys make a dramatic mess of themselves. He hopes, “I would love for George, I would love for Erika to come walk through that door because that means Howie would be stuck on them for the next week and leave Marcellas alone.”

But it’s not George or Erika who comes to join them at the Jury House next… “It would break my heart to see Danielle walk through that door,” says James. But unfortunately for him, it is Danielle, and Marcellas cries, “No!” Danielle smiles and gives hugs all around, “I got scumbagged.” The four jury members raise their wine glasses, and Danielle makes a toast, “Been there, done that.” Howie is hoping to see “fat ass George” next. Ugh, shut him up. But yes, George, complete with protective headgear, sneaks into the kitchen and surprises them all. Howie’s “fat ass” insults begin… poorly. They all gather in the living room to watching the Big Brother DVDs. Howie, in all his glory, is all kinds of 5-year-old-nasty, calling Erika ugly before turning on George. George finally cans the doofy attitude he’s been carrying all season and tells Howie what he needs to hear, “Shut up Howie. I don’t need to listen to you. Shut up. SHUT UP.” Woo Hoo! Here’s to the Chicken Man finally giving Howie what-for and for showing off his backbone! Danielle tries to calm Howie down and asks him, “Are you mad because he outplayed you and beat you?” “Not at all!” Howie yells. “You suck too bad to get nominated! You suck too bad to waste an HoH on!” This is your 35-year-old Light Saber Salesman, people. “It just got out of control. Howie needs to realize that this lying, this backstabbing, this is part of the game. This personal-attack stuff just needs to stop,” James says privately. While I hate Howie with all kinds of passion now, I have to say that the sequester house is looking damn interesting and deserves a season all on its own.

“Operation: Double Date worked too well. It started as a joke, but Operation: Double Date was the smartest move.” Will worries, “Erika could send me home. Erika has a strong spirit. She’s kind of a maverick. She nominated her best friend Danielle; she could easily kick Janelle out if she wins PoV, but she could also kick me out.” Erika admits that she “trusts Chilltown as much as you can really trust anyone in here.” You stupid, stupid girl. Boogie knows this and therefore isn’t worried.

Janelle gets some alone time with Will in the kitchen and “What’s Erika doing out there?” Will says, “Moping. About you, life, everything. She’s like, ‘If Janelle wins then she’ll win the whole show. She’s going to have won, like, ten things.’” Janelle’s response? “Shut up, bitch.” Janelle reports privately, “Erika for some reason thinks that she can beat Chill Town in the end. It’s like, No, hello Erika, you’re playing for second place anyway. She’s kind of an idiot.” Pot… I’d like to introduce you to Kettle. Will wants to keep up his faux-mance with Janelle to maintain her loyalty, but Janelle admits, “Will always says that he plays emotionless, and I wish I could do that. I’m trying to. Emotionally he does have me. It’s like, okay, um, I have a way tighter bond with Will than I do with Erika, and he knows that, and he kind of uses it against me.” Under the covers with Will, she whispers in his ear, “This isn’t a show-mance, and I want to be with you.” Oh good lord. *barf*

The Power of Veto Competition is called “When the Stars Align.” The backyard is set up with four sectioned-off private areas, one for each player. Each player has an identical series of clues in the shape of a star. To answer a clue, they must place the two corresponding houseguests’ faces on each side of the clue. Even though some of the clues have more than one correct answer, there is only one way to arrange all of the faces in order to correctly complete the entire star puzzle. The faces are hidden in their individual giant goo pools, and they can only bring one face to the star at a time. Once all the faces are correctly aligned, the houseguests must press their buzzers to signal they are finished.

Will says, “I don’t really care what happens, it doesn’t matter to me who wins. I know I’m not leaving this week.” You sound pretty sure of yourself there, Will. Later in the competition, he doesn’t even recognize Alison’s face when he pulls it out of the goo. “Who the hell is this?” Boogie doesn’t fare much better, getting confused and missing one face completely from the puzzle, but thinking he was finished. Erika “kept getting tripped up on Nakomis/Diane order and where that should be.” However, to no one’s surprise, Janelle presses her buzzer with the correct combination and wins the PoV. She runs and kisses Will on the lips. “This was a huge win for me. I’m guaranteed a place in the Final Three because Janelle’s going to keep me.” Erika is frustrated that she got so close but didn’t win. Janelle announces, “This is a tremendous advancement to me, because I am securing myself in the Final Three.”

Certain of her doom, Erika says, “I’m going to have to appeal to Janelle’s sense of logic.” Good luck finding it, hon. When Erika asks, “You can’t beat Will. Do you want those two against you? Do you think you can?”, Janelle admits, “I don’t know.” Boogie and Will talk inside, commenting on Erika’s dealings with Janelle. Anticipating Erika to be evicted soon, Mike says, “Apparently sometimes you CAN have your cake and eat it, too.” Ugh, that cliché is high on my pet peeve list because everyone uses it wrong. The saying is, “You can’t EAT your cake and HAVE it too,” because once you’ve eaten it, you no longer have it! Sorry, it’s the English major in me. Moving right along…

In the HoH room, Erika promises Janelle that she will take her to the Final Two if she evicts one of the Chill Town boys. “I am the deciding vote, and I have to decide who I am going to take to the Final Three with me,” Janelle admits in the Diary Room, putting her thinking tiara on. “You know who the biggest liar is to you is in this game,” Erika reminds her. “Boogie,” Janelle says, in denial. Erika gives her a look and shakes her head. Janelle laughs nervously, “Will.” Erika doesn’t want to go out without a fight, and says, “I got this far, I’m not going to let these boys run me out of here.” She tells Janelle outside later with the boys working out in the yard just barely out of earshot, “They’ve lied to everybody on they way out the door. Why let them get to the Final Two? They think you and I are a joke. Like they’ve manipulated us.” OyG, ladies and gents… wait for it… I think I see the lightbulbs over their heads beginning to flicker on. “They’ve already pinned us against each other. Why should we continue to let them? Will will tell you how smart you are, how beautiful you are, how funny you are, but he cannot guarantee you to take you to the Final Two,” she warns Janelle. Woo! You go girl! Janelle offers Erika some wine, and they head inside to talk more privately. Will knows something’s not right. “I’m going home,” he tells Boogie. “She’s opening the wine, no eye contact, and Janelle was the one who said ‘Let’s go inside’.” “Operation: Double Date is turning into Operation: Double Mistake. Things don’t look very good for me.” Boogie cranks up the nasty, “This is our show, and these bitches think they are going to steal it from us?” Uh… excuse you? Inside, the girls are toasting themselves. “Let’s do it: girls against boys.”

In the middle of the night, Janelle can’t sleep and heads outside for a smoke. Erika joins her. Smart move. Knowing how Janelle can be influenced, it’s probably not a good idea to leave her alone too much. Just keep planting the ideas in her head. “I honestly do think it’s your best move to boot out Will. And I’m saying that to you as a friend and a woman. I mean, think about the things that he’s done, in this game, to you. Didn’t he promise you that Howie would be safe? Why would you believe him in any other aspect? I think they’re a couple of liars.” Janelle looks over, grins, and asks, “Did they tell you that you’re in Chill Town?” she asks Erika. Erika screams, “Yes!” The ladies start to realize to they have been played. Ding ding ding! The lightbulbs are finally on folks! “I hate them,” Janelle laughs. “I hate them more,” Erika says, “Oh my gawd… they think they’ve got us.” Janelle laments, “I totally screwed up this whole game.” “I’m so fired up right now. Did they never think we would come together?” rants Erika. “Let’s get ‘em.” Please excuse me while I giggle incessantly with glee.

Julie Chen checks in with the houseguests in the living room. Julie asks Will, “Do you think these bonds will continue outside of the house?” Will smiles that charming smile and thinks that they’ll be good friends once the show is over. Janelle and Erika also cop-out, saying they will be friends, while Mike jokes that it will depends on Erika’s vote when he is in the Final Two, suggesting that Erika will not be in the Final Two.

Chen begins the Veto Ceremony. Janelle uses her Veto on herself, and Mike has to nominate her replacement. With only one other person left, Boogie isn’t left with a choice. “I can’t believe this is actually going to come out of my mouth, but I have to nominate my Chill Town man, Will” Boogie declares. Will sits next to Erika and awaits the vote.

ChenBot asks Erika and Will for their final words. Erika says, “I have faith that you will make the right choice,” while Will says “There’s been a lot of hatred this summer, and a lot of that hatred is now in the Jury House. It’s directed at me. For my own personal safety, I request that you keep me away from those people.” Janelle stands and casts her lone vote. She explains, “I’ve really made a lot of mistakes in the house. After tonight, I’m done making mistakes. For Marcellas and Howie, I vote to evict you, Will.” Boogie is shocked, stands, and hugs Will good-bye. He stands in complete shock as Will walks out the door to greet Julie. The girls celebrate quietly in the bathroom, “They were so surprised!”

Julie asks Will, “It looked like you were on your way to win this game for a second time. You manipulated everyone all summer. How is it that the puppet master lost control?” Will says that he did the best he could, and the target he came in with on his back finally caught up with him. There’re only so many lies you can tell. “Did you get too confident?” Will thinks that he did the best to follow his strategy, which was to win nothing. “Did you underestimate Janelle?” He believes underestimated Erika, who was able to get inside Janelle’s brain. He gives kudos to his partner Boogie, saying that neither of them would have made it as far as they had without each other.

Chen introduces part one of the final three-part HoH Competition. Even though Boogie is the outgoing HoH, he is still eligible to play. The name of the game is Mount HoH. Each houseguest has to climb onto one side of the volcano, turn around, and face forward with their back to the volcano. Once there, they have to grab hold of a large key above them. The players must remain on the volcano, holding onto the key with both hands, without letting their feet or their keys touch the mat below them. The last person left on the volcano automatically advances to the final round of the three-part competition to face off whomever wins the second part.

Just a few seconds after the start of the competition however, Boogie jumps off the volcano, yelling, “Remember Richard Hatch? They both have to take me to the finals.” Janelle is surprised by Mike’s sudden departure from the game and, for a quick moment, removes one hand from her key. Mike struts about the backyard, “You can’t take each other. You have to take me,” as the two remaining girls cling to the volcano. Erika advises Janelle, “We can’t take him. He played us too hard this whole game.” But the game is already over because Janelle lost her grip on her key, so after only a few minutes, Erika is declared the winner of the first round. Well that was… boring. I wanted to see the volcano erupt! How anticlimactic. Zzz…

However, the impossible finally became reality. The delicious Doctor is gone. And while he was probably the only one of the four I actually wanted to win, I do think that he deserved the boot that he got. And Erika! She’s suddenly gone from most forgettable to HouseQuake Machine in one episode. Will she keep her new loyalty to Janelle? And what’s going to happen in the Jury House when Will walks through the door?

You can have your cake and eat it, but you can’t eat your cake and have it with polomex@realityshack.com.


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