After a brief discussion about how many times Erika sat in the eviction chairs, BB calls an outdoor lockdown so they can remove the carnage left over from the HoH comp. These two are absolutely giddy. Walking out the door, Booger yells out “What up studio city?” Shoot him. Please. Or me. Or her. Whatever – just shoot someone and make this tolerable.
Boog is talking about how he knew Will’s answer would be the opposite of what everyone would think. How would Will know what the alternative answer would be? BB could have made up something really ridiculous, and Boog would have gone for that. Hear that BB? You messed up. Booger is regretting that he missed an opportunity to give a few more shout outs on the live show. ‘Cause those make him look pretty damn cool, yo.
I need booze. Seriously. If this is going to go on for five more days, I’ll need to be sloshed the entire time to get through it. These two are making Ivette and Maggie look like a couple of fun, wacky, crazy kids.
They’re talking now about how Erika was responsible for Janie evicting Will and even writing her speech for her. Word for word. She tells Boog, “you didn’t think she came up with that on her own, did you?” She says that Booger was exactly right when he told her that she shouldn’t give up and that Janie was easy to manipulate. Erika, he thought all along that Will could reprogram Janelle no matter what you said, so get a grip on yourself woman. Erika says she owes Booger a lot now, because apparently her dignity and $500,000 isn’t going to be enough of a payment to him for dragging her through the mud all summer.
They go back inside and there’s a fruit basket and champagne waiting for them. Booger opens the bottle and says something about being happy to be there with Erika, and apologizes for not being more poetic. She wants to know if they’ll get the HoH room so that they can sleep together again. Yuck. I’m just giving you fair warning – if it looks like there’s going to be sex of any kind happening, I’m shutting my feeds down and the recap will end quite abruptly.
They talk about what the jury will think when Janie walks in, and if they really want to see Booger or Erika instead. Booger mentions that these will be the longest five days of his life. Join the frickin’ club. He addresses “the internet” and tells us to check our “scriptures” from the beginning of the season, and to check the speculation that Mike Booger (yes, his words) wasn’t getting in the house. Dude, you got in the house because of Will. You got to the end because of Will. Shut the hell up. Erika tries to interject, “How could anyone not want you in the house?” You really want to know Erika? I could explain it to you in excruciating detail, but I have a feeling you’ll understand yourself in about a week’s time.
Boog thinks that “the internet” isn’t on right now, because the show hasn’t aired yet on the west coast. That’s right Booger, they turn the entire web off when the feeds are down. He tells Erika about all the prizes that he’s won this season – the trip to Aruba, $10,000, the television, the car – and Erika is surprised. He has a brief moment of clarity and asks her not to mention any of that during the jury questioning. Bahaha! Good luck with that one.
They discuss how smart Chill Town was, and Boog’s taking credit for most of it just as Erika is taking credit for everything Janie has done and said in the last couple of days. She says that she had to take Will out of the game so that she and Booger could be together at the end, because she knew that Booger really wanted to take Will to the final two. Shouldn’t that have been a hint? Seriously Erika, take your second-place money and buy yourself a clue.
Now Boog is saying that Will really does have feelings for Janelle, and that he’s going to need some time to figure everything out. He adds that Will and Janie will probably “f*ck” while in sequester together because there are no cameras there. Wait, didn’t Booger promise to help Will earn back Erin’s affections and trust? Way to be a good solid friend there, buddy. Of course he thinks “the internet” is off, so I’m sure he has no idea anyone heard this.
BB tells them to go to the storage room, where they find booze for the evening and food for the rest of their stay. Lucky them. I checked my own personal storage room (otherwise known as the bar), and I’ve got a couple of tiny bottles of liqueur and about half an inch of tequila. Better stock up tomorrow.
Now the chatter is about all of the comps they threw all season long. Then Erika says that she played Janelle completely for the last few days, and Booger actually says that he had to calm Will down. WHAT? Revisionist history always plays a part in the final two rehashing the season. That’s a given. But … I seem to remember Booger going off and threatening to defecate on Janelle if she evicted Will. And Will? Didn’t really seem to care what happened. He said he was nervous, but that was the extent of it. I have never wanted a margarita machine of my very own as much as I do right now.
Guess what? Erika is attempting to do the whisper thing. And I’m laughing at her, because she’s whispering to Booger, telling him the things that Janelle and Will used to whisper to each other. They talk about Janie and Will quite a bit, and then Erika says that they’re better gamers than Will and Janie were. I’m waiting for one of the camera people to just say “to hell with it” and bust out there to smack these two upside the head.
Erika asks Booger, “you know who is hating this right now?” Oh, oh, I know! Pick me! Everyone who ever considered themselves a fan of Big Brother? Apparently the correct answer is Josh Souza, who isn’t a big Chill Town fan. So now Erika thinks that not only is she a better overall player than Will or Janelle, but also that her ex-boyfriend is sitting at home in a seething rage of jealousy.
Booger keeps asking if the internet is on. Yes it is, dumbass, but it’s not like there are hordes of people watching you. Trust me, I’m mortified that I have to do it. He tells Erika to flash her boobs at the cameras to get an answer, then goes inside to change his clothes. Erika tells the camera to stop looking at her boobs. She’s rummaging around in the ashtray to find a butt, calling herself a desperate woman. Truer words have never been spoken.
Inside, Booger tells BB that there might be some sex happening later, so they’ll want to find time on the finale show to air some of that. But he’ll need more alcohol first. Dis. Gus. Ting.
They get into the hot tub, and Booger still wants to know if the feeds are on because he really wants to give some more shout outs. He keeps saying how important this is to him. Does he not know that we get flames every time he does that? Now they’re hugging and kissing each other. Telling each other that they’re better looking than Janie and Will, and better than them because they’re still there. Blech. Erika is telling Booger that he’s such a “bad boy” and she’s all turned on by that. Why do I feel the need to go sit in a vat of bleach for a few hours?
Erika plants another long kiss on Booger, and he turns away and starts talking about the jury and who will vote for him. I guess he doesn’t have enough alcohol yet. She keeps trying to glom onto him, and he keeps moving away inch by inch. Finally they get out of the hot tub and Booger goes inside to change. He puts the fruit basket away and then moves a couple of mattresses onto the floor, side by side. Oh no. Outside Erika has lit the remains of another cigarette butt.
Booger changes and goes to sit in the living room. They’re both in their own little worlds for a while, and it’s actually easier to tolerate them this way. But then Erika ruins it by coming inside. She goes to take a shower, and suddenly they’re getting ready for bed. It’s not even 11 pm yet, but I’m not going to complain. Who wants to watch this any longer than they have to?
The mattresses are actually not set up right next to each other – there are a couple of inches between them. I’m sure Erika has picked up on this. They kiss and hug and tell each other how wonderful and smart they both are. Again. They congratulate each other and say how happy they are that they’ll be spending the next five days together. Yeah, try to imagine our joy too. And … they’re sleeping. Thank goodness.
You know, you could pick any two people that entered the house at the beginning of the season, any two people, and I’d rather see them sitting there at the end of the game than these two. Anyone else feel this way? If it weren’t for the recaps, I’d just cancel my feeds and wash my hands of the whole darned thing.
So now that it’s almost over, what do you think of the season? Are Erika and Booger truly the better players since they’re sitting pretty at the end of the game? Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know what’s on your mind.