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Reaching the End Zone – Big Brother 7 All Stars, 9/3/06


Outside, Will asks Janelle in front of Boogie, “When you get married, what’s the smallest diamond ring you would wear?” Janelle announces, “A diamond ring doesn’t really matter… I’d be happy with a friendship bracelet,” to which Boogie laughs, “as long as it’s on a 180-foot yacht, it’d be fine!” Janelle defends herself, saying “I would be totally fine eloping and getting married somewhere.” Boogie proposes “Why don’t we have a crazy weekend in Vegas, and you guys do like a fake, cheesy wedding?” When Janelle asks “What if Will and I really do get married? Like we’re drinking and stuff…,” Will laughs, “Next thing you know I’m spending the next week getting an annulment in Vegas.” “Why would you do that, Will?” Boogie asks jokily, and Janelle stares at Will in silence in that Your-Answer-Better-Be-Good way. After a few awkward seconds, Will saves himself, “So that we can get married in Minnesota and have it legit.” Real smooth there, Doctor.

Boogie’s new HoH Room is blue, and the Final Four point out that they could all just camp out in the one room, the rest of the house being unnecessary. When Will begins to draw himself a bath, Boogie points out, “Why sit in a small hot tub when we have the entire house to ourselves and a big hot tub?” So Will and his three housemates are in the hot tub, sipping on… champagne? Well, it’s something alcoholic. Because hot tubs and alcohol go oh-so-well together. *eyeroll* They soon start talking about babies and Will suggests that Mike and Erika should have a baby together. Will explains in the Diary Room, “We’re not allowed to bring watches into the Big Brother house, but if you hear a loud clicking, it’s Erika’s biological clock. I figured… let’s encourage them to have a baby.” Erika goes along with the idea: “I want to have a baby with Mike. We’re going to have a baby. I guess it would be a Big Brother baby. A triple B.” Ew ew ewwww! QUIT IT!! Will offers to deliver the potential baby, and Erika assigns Janelle as her wet nurse. Somebody needs to start a hotline for this non-existent baby. Because it’s going to need a lot of therapy. Boogie admits, “She’s in her mid-thirties now. She’s starting to think about the future. I was willing to do that. I am willing to do anything at this point to make sure Chill Town gets to the Final Two.” Scum. Bag.

When Boogie and Erika leave the hot tub for some private, incredibly disgusting humping, Janelle attempts to get quite physical with Will, but he turns her down. “Operation: Double Date worked too well. Janelle is refusing to take No for an answer. She wants me to kiss her. She wants me to be in the hot tub with her. She wants me to sleep in the same bed with her. I don’t know what to do. She’s driving me absolutely insane.” The two get into a minor tiff. Awww… their first fight. How cute. Later Janelle comments, “The fight was about the way Will was treating me. It was really bad, messy, and awkward.” Will suggests they shouldn’t even be friends, pointing to himself, “Wrong tree, you’re barking it up.” And what clever retort does Janelle come back with? “Same goes for you, Will Kirby. Wrong tree, YOU are barking it up.” Oh yeah, you tell him Janelle. Look at all that wit. Janelle leaves the hot tub. Will asks her to stay as he realizes, “I’m afraid she going to now win the PoV and kick me out,” but Janelle pouts her way into the house. Finding her later on, Will talks to Janelle privately in the storage room and promises loudly, “I have your back, I have your back. Do you really think I’m planning on evicting you if I win Power of Veto? Has anything over the last six weeks indicated to you for a second that I would do that? Let’s kick Erika out of this house…” However, unfortunately for them, Erika is quietly standing outside the door listening to their conversation. She starts to connect the dots, “The plan is to win the Veto and kick out Janelle. But I think Will told her the same thing. We’ll see who he’s loyal to.” Boogie walks up to her and realizes what she’s doing, so instead of listening in, he announces “Whoa!” loudly enough for Will and Janelle to hear and stop talking. Mike opens the door and silently uses hand signals to let them know Erika heard everything. Erika however thinks that Boogie is just a “bad spy” and doesn’t suspect that he is in on the deal. After Boogie leaves the storage room, Will assures Janelle, “I will do everything I can to get rid of [Erika].”

Boogie and Erika are snuggling. Again. Gah-ross. “I can’t wait to get you out of this house,” Erika whispers and laughs under the blanket. “Who’da thought I’d meet my mate in the Big Brother house? I think there’ll definitely be something between the two of us when we leave,” she hopes privately. Wake up, woman! Mike has different plans, admitting, “Erika is going to be extremely hurt after the show.” Boogie professes how much he cares about her, playing Erika’s heartstrings, “What I really like about each other is we both have enough respect for each other that we’re not trying to push things. I mean, we’ll never forget this. You know what I mean? People don’t have this in their lives You can call it cheesy or you can call it a reality show or whatever it is, but it’s an experience we’ll never forget.” Every word just drips with sewage, and I want to tie his tongue in a knot. “I’m a bad, bad person. I am going to hell,” Boogie moans. I sure hope so.

Chill Town strings both of the girls along in private. Will and Boogie are concerned over who might win the PoV as they will have the power to send someone home, which means potentially one of Chill Town. Janelle is hesitant to believe them but desperately wants to. While Janelle is out of the living room, Erika half-jokes to Boogie and Will that they are probably telling Janelle the exact same strategy they are telling her, they awkwardly laugh. Mike admits though, “They both have thought they are members of Chill Town for several weeks now, so we’ve shown signs of trust to both of them, so much so that they can’t even question us. It’s perfect.” When she realizes that Boogie is going to nominate her, Erika is suspicious, asking why he is putting her up and not Will. Boogie tries to brush off the question, saying “It doesn’t matter,” because they are not evicting her anyway. Erika isn’t fully satisfied however, worried that she will look like she’s involved in a “ho-mance,” and Boogie says he will surprise everyone with his nominations instead of discussing them now.

Mike pretends to mull over his choices for nomination. But really, what is there to think about? Janelle expects to be nominated. Erika however hopes that he will not target her. “I mean, you can’t nominate the mother of your children right?” she asks. Ewwww! Stop that! Will jokes, “If Mike Boogie nominates me, I’m going to flip out. I’m going to rip his orange fedora off, and throw it—Oh wait, no, Howie already did that. Nah, I don’t really care.” Mike is adamant, “Last time, I played this game for friendship and love, and it didn’t work out so well for me. I got a second chance at this game, and I told myself it’s a Take-No-Prisoners approach this time. And I’m going to do whatever it takes to be the last man standing.” With only one key in the box, the Nomination Ceremony is remarkably short. “Will, you are safe,” he smiles. Color me shocked. Erika is disappointed, but Janelle expects the nomination. Boogie feels he owes the key to Will, because “I probably wouldn’t have gotten this far ahead in the game without Will.” Erika recollects the saying, “Bros before hoes,” and hopes it doesn’t come down to that because “Third [place] is a crappy place to go out.” Janelle thinks that all of her three opponents are pretty much after her, and “I’ve got to put a stop to this madness that Chill Town’s created.” Mike is proud of himself, “Chill Town has positioned themselves perfectly. We have both girls thinking that we want to go to the Final Three with them, and hopefully we will have Chill Town sitting in the final two seats. If one of us doesn’t win All-Stars, it’s going to be a crime.” With only four people left, Will is sure he has a shot at winning Big Brother yet again. I’m starting to wonder the same thing, and honestly, of the four people left, he’s the only one I would be comfortable with winning.

Oh Boogie, how do I hate thee? Let me count the days at polomex@realityshack.com.


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