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Reaching the End Zone – Big Brother 7 All Stars, 9/3/06


In the Big Brother house, the houseguests were shocked when they found out the game was going into overdrive. When the votes were revealed, Chill Town put the final nail in the coffin of the Legion of Doom, evicting Danielle. At the Head of Household competition, the “buxom blonde” won her fourth HoH, but before Janelle made her nominations, the “puppet master” went to work. Swayed by “Dr. Delicious,” Janelle kept Chill Town safe, nominating George and Erika for eviction. Within minutes, the battle for the Power of Veto began, and Erika came out the victor, forcing Janelle to nominate another All-Star: Mike Boogie. With Chill Town vulnerable, Erika also decided to keep them safe, voting to evict George, and Chicken George’s All-Star game came to an end. Who will be the next HoH, and will Erika and Janelle continue to be manipulated by Chill Town?

Danielle and George are gone, leaving the once-crowded house eerily empty with only four residents left. Erika murmurs to herself in the bathroom, apologizing to Danielle for evicting her. Will had some worries: “State of Overdrive is terrible for the way I play this game. I work slowly. I work methodically. I work by strategy.” However, he brags, “As soon as Janelle won HoH, I pulled her aside and had a conversation with her. My flirt game is strong—quite strong—so she kinda listens to me,” and convinced her to evict Chicken George instead of Mike Boogie or Erika. “Janelle listens to me because she’s in love with me.” Boogie admits, “Had Will’s [veto] symbol come off [the rope in the PoV competition], she wouldn’t even be in the building.” But she lucked out, and poor Will actually broke his thumb in the process of trying to attain his first victory ever. Both Will and Boogie like Chicken George and say they will miss him. “It was really tough saying good-bye to Chicken George. His legacy will live on; he will be sorely missed,” says Boogie. “Chicken George is the only person in the jury house who I have not blatantly misled or lied to. I personally am going to miss him a lot,” admits Will.

After the door closes on George, the Final Four celebrate and are amazed at making it this far. “Operation: Double Date.” Erika keeps reminding Boogie, “You are f—king taking me to the Final Two.” It doesn’t sound like she really trusts him. Why isn’t she listening to her own gut instinct? “I think it’d be cute to have us two in the Final Two…the two lovebirds.” Ugh, don’t make me puke. Boogie has other plans however, “Erika is under the impression that if we can get to the Final Three that I will take her to the finals. That ain’t happening.” Then comes a montage of video clips of Boogie and Erika humping, making out, and other gross activities. Well, such activities aren’t gross per se, but are nauseating because it’s Boogie and Erika. I’m glad I wasn’t eating dinner at the time. Mike insists, “Number One Don’t in showmancing: Don’t ever get real feelings for the person.” Poor, delusional Erika dreams, “There might be real genuine feelings between Mike and I. We’re a match made in Big Brother heaven.” Ew ew ew. Quit it.

Later, in the yellow bedroom, Janelle asks Will if he wants to try out her new pillow and then asks, “Want to try it out with me there too?” Will agrees, “That might be a little awesome,” but jokingly makes Janelle promise not to make love to him. They lay down in the bed together, and Janelle warns, “I better not end up with a knee in my back or something.” Will of course takes the opportunity for the obvious punchline, “Oh, that’s not a knee.” Will calls their relationship a flirt-mance. “Flirt-mance is kinda like a show-mance, but it’s just flirting. No big deal. You’re lonely, and you just want to, y’know, maybe flirt a little bit. I’m sure people are going to say I have a show-mance with Boogie. There’s nothing wrong with two men being in a hot tub together sometimes… Right? It’s a bro-mance!”

The girls are sharing cigarettes out in the backyard often. However, Erika claims she was an avid non-smoker, but she is smoking now because of the stress in the Big Brother house. Boogie doesn’t like her newly revisited habit, calling it “not very attractive. When you go to kiss her, it tastes like an ashtray. I don’t date smokers. She looks like she’s aged five years.” No, she looks dead. But I can understand how both Erika and Boogie feel, considering I’m a former smoker also. But smoke-free for two months and counting now! Woo! Sorry, enough self-patting of the back…

Janelle starts the Head of Household Competition, “Let’s change into our outfits provided in the storage room. The four step outside looking like Foot Locker employees. Erika complains, “They make me look like I have no figure at all.” Um, that’s because pancakes don’t have figures, dear. Boogie likes the transformation of the backyard, as it looks like a football field. Janelle announces the HoH Big Brother Bowl. The competition consists of a series of questions based on what day specific events took place in the house. The houseguests must write their answers on their yard marker, and based on the amount they are over or under the correct number, they are penalized points. Players with a correct answer do not have to move away from the end zone. The competitor with the least amount of penalty yards after seven questions wins HoH.

“On which day did the first All-Star get evicted?” Erika guesses Day 13, Mike guesses Day 11, and Will guesses Day 13. The correct answer: Alison was evicted on Day 11. Will and Erika are penalized two yards.

“On which day did the gnomes come to life and throw pies in the houseguests’ faces?” Erika: 45, Will: 46, Mike: 53. The correct answer: Day 47. Erika moves back 2 yards, Mike moves back 6 yards, and Will moves back 1 yard and is currently in the lead.

“On which day did Marcellas shave Kaysar’s head in the veto competition?” Mike: 20, Will: 19, Erika: 23. The correct answer: Day 20. Erika moves back 3 yards, Mike stays put, and Will moves 1 yard.

“On which day did the houseguests find a female sheep in the living room?” All three guess Day 39, and they’re all correct.

“On which day was slop first introduced to the houseguests?” Erika and Mike: 12, Will: 14. Erika and Mike stay put, Will moves back 2 yards. Mike and Will are tied for the lead.

“On which day did the houseguests play the veto in which they were kept up all night by wake-up calls?” Will: 26, Mike: 27, Erika: 29. The correct answer: Day 27. Erika moves 2 yards back, and Will takes one step back.

“On which day were the beds replaced with cots?” Erika: 42, Mike: 34, Will: 34. The correct answer is Day 34, making Mike Boogie the winner and new HoH. “Winning this HoH gives me a great sigh of relief because I know I’m guaranteed a shot at the Final Three. It’s beyond words. I feel like I’ve actually won the show,” Boogie celebrates. Erika once again confounds me, “I probably will be nominated because I know he’s not going to nominate Will. So we are sleeping in the same bed, and he’s probably going to nominate me. It’s kinda hot. Gotta love those bad boys.” Ugh. Does anyone have any Pepto Bismol? Yuck.

Inside, Will and Boogie do their corny victory dance in the storage room. Will describes Chill Town’s plan: “Mike Boogie is going to show-mance Erika; I’m going to have my faux-mance with Janelle. By the time we’re done with the two of them, we will have them hating each other and so suspicious of each other that hopefully no matter what happens, they will try to evict each other.” I have to admit, I don’t like the way they are using the women, but if they’re dumb enough to fall for it, then c’est la vie.


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