This morning, like most other mornings, Danielle is the first one awake. What’s unusual, however, is that she’s in solitary confinement in the empty workout room. Of course she did this to herself, but it must be tough waking up knowing that you’ve still got hours of confinement left to get through. She gets up and starts pacing immediately, talking about the dreams she had that she was going to the bathroom, then she was with her parents and her kids at a movie theater eating a big bucket of fries. If I were her, I’d try to go back to sleep and dream some more. She complains that she’s had her contacts in for two days now. Bleh, I know that feeling.
Dani brushes her teeth using bowls of water and then lays back down again. Will, Booger, and Chicken George are up and they just start talking when they’re interrupted by flames. After about ten minutes, we’re back and the grumpy hamsters are getting out of their cots or their makeshift floor beds. No one seems especially excited to be there.
Everyone thinks there must be something going on today, since BB called lights out the night before and now they’re having to get up at 10 am on a Sunday. Maybe BB’s just trying to get y’all on a regular sleep schedule – sometimes the simple answers make the most sense.
BB calls an outside lockdown, but a few feisty houseguests retort “we’ll go outside when you give us back our beds!” Good luck with that one. Marcellas is still sleeping, so BB wakes him up and he takes his time getting ready to go outside (this entails donning the white eye mask of ennui, brushing teeth, and peering at himself in the mirror for a few minutes). Erika is also just rising and seems a bit confused about what’s going on.
Chicken George decides to use the outdoor shower to shave in. It looks painful – it’s cold water first of all, and the guy is just kind of blindly scraping his face willy-nilly. Thank goodness he got off the slop this week and isn’t shaking like he does for comps. After his shower and shave, Georgie hits the hot tub.
James and Erika discuss what she would be doing if she were home right now. She’d be cooking breakfast (she doesn’t say if she’d eat said breakfast, however), maybe playing golf because she’s addicted to the game, and then some shopping and maybe watching a movie.
They all talk about when the next America’s Choice will be, and Will starts in on a pretty funny imitation of Julie Chen. “The houseguests want to kill themselves! Vote to help them decide how to do it. Razor blades, sawed-off shotgun, vodka and barbiturates, or a VW Bug with a muffler hooked up and running in the bedroom!” Marcellas deadpans, “Looks like I’m dyin’ in a VW Bug.” Booger says that if the choices of party food for the houseguests were pizza or steaming piles of dog sh*t, some idiot with a website would vote thousands of times for the sh*t. I would not! I’m too busy watching the feeds.
The lockdown is over, but James and Erika stay outside to complain about the house, and to agree that someone from S6 has to go this week. James, honey, even though you jumped ship? You’re still S6. Dumbass.
Inside, Will and Booger go up to the HoH room. They laugh about how they have an alliance with everyone in the house, and have to make sure that the other hamsters don’t start talking to each other. Will says that he doesn’t like how Erika has been upstairs with every HoH making suggestions about who to put up. Erika appears out of thin air, as she’s apt to do, and the conversation abruptly stops. Booger whines that the show caters too much to the effing internet. Ha. If that were true, Booger would be hooked up to a machine that would zap him with electricity every time he caused flames, or wore something that looks like it came from a decade long, long ago. So pretty much all the time.
When Erika leaves, Will admits that he trusts Janelle more than Erika. Boog disagrees, of course. Will says that he had a little chat with Erika the night before, and told her that he could totally see her and Booger together, but if she’s playing him just for the game, then that needs to stop. See, Will isn’t completely heartless after all. Shh, don’t tell anyone.
Now it’s talk about when the finale is (they seem to think the 21st, but I’m pretty sure Survivor and The Amazing Race are starting the week before, so …), and what producers they want to talk to. Zzzzz.
Solitary confinement report: Danielle is back to wearing out a path on the carpet in her cage. James goes to the window and makes a letter with his hands that looks like a “K”, and Dani nods to him. Not looking so good for Kay right now.
James complains to Georgie about the competitions and the food and the game, but George isn’t taking the bait. He just says things like, “yeah, this game is brutal”, and “they’re testing you, how you handle problems in the house”. But James just keeps right on fast-talking, not really hearing anything that George is saying. You know, I think if George won HoH James would be on the block faster than you could say “chicken”.
Booger and Erika are hanging out in the backyard now, and Erika asks him where they should go to make out. He says “right here”. And then they’re talking about tennis. My brain hurts. Booger talks about his businesses, and how he hopes his partner knows that he’s still serious about running them even though he’s in the BB house all summer. Please, like doing All Stars wasn’t a publicity push for you, Boog? There’s some talk about Josh (Souza, Erika’s ex) and how he supposedly left a letter on Booger’s website or something. Sorry that’s not more clear – Booger tends to go off on tangents and sometimes it’s hard to keep up.
Solitary confinement report: Danielle is sitting on the floor now, jiggling her leg. Is that her stomach grumbling, or is there something weird going on outside the door?
James tells Booger about some reality TV event that he attended with Howie, Ivette, and a bunch of other stars from other shows. Apparently Howie wanted to bring his light saber onstage with him because he gets paid every time he’s seen in public with it (oooh, I want that job!), but everyone told him no, they wouldn’t stay if he brought the light saber out. I guess this story is supposed to make Howie look bad, but it only makes the rest of the people look like uptight spoiled brats. Just sayin’.
Booger leaves and James is now talking to Erika. He says that he feels pretty safe this week, and would be shocked if Julie told him he was going home. Erika tells him he’s not going anywhere. Soothed, James starts yapping about how horrible the game is, how draining, how no one wants to be there. James? You’re on the block. Ask for votes to evict you, and voila – problem solved.
Howie is out now and Booger is back. They talk about coming into the house, how they were nervous meeting everyone. Howie admits that he thought Booger was a handler at first. Hahaha! Boog again thinks that the show caters to the internet, because they didn’t get to have music at their margarita party. I’ll laugh my butt off if that margarita party doesn’t even make the show, since it’s such a big deal to Boog and Will. Of course it will air though, because of the Will/Janelle confab. But still.
Solitary confinement report: Erika goes into the house and stops by to check on Danielle. Dani seems to think she’s getting out within the hour, but Erika tells her she thinks it’ll be a couple of hours yet. Way to cheer her up Erika! Danielle says that she hasn’t eaten or drank anything because she doesn’t want to use the port-a-potty.
Erika comes outside with her razor, some shaving cream, and a bowl of water. It’s leg-shaving time, but for some reason she’s doing it outside, in front of Howie and Booger. No, wait, she’s going to let Boog shave her legs for her. Ew! Why? Well, I guess we know why, but still. Ew! Howie is disappointed that he can’t get in on the hot shaving action, and he offers to shave her “kitten” for her. Booger replies that they’re trying to make good TV, not a porno.
Boog and Erika whisper a bit of strategy, with Booger asking who she wants out. She says “Kaysar”, and Boog is surprised. He tries to push the Marcy angle (even though Will told him not to say anything to Erika about it), but she’s not on board with that plan. Will Erika drive a wedge between Booger and Will? As the shaving goes on, Erika exclaims that she feels so pampered. She goes inside to change the water in her bowl and tells Howie on the way in that being shaved is sexy and she’s turned on by it. The sad thing here is that it’s Janelle who gets called a whore in this house.