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Don’t Count Your Chickens – Big Brother 7: All Stars, Episode 8


The next task is “Shirt Off Your Back.” The contestants will have to strip down to their skivvies, tossing their shirt and pants into a fire burning nearby. The four remaining men all agree to do it, much to the delight of the onlookers. Jase performs a bit of a striptease, tearing his shirt from his body, and Marcellas is drooling at the mouth as Kaysar takes off his clothes. Poor George looks a bit out of place among all the sickening six-packs, but he’s still in the game.

Next up, “Sign Me Up.” Now that the competitors are half-naked, the houseguests are invited to use (washable) markers to write whatever they want on the men’s bodies. Again, all four agree to the task. Jase says, “I haven’t played that game since I got too drunk and passed out in college.” Ah, memories. The houseguests have their way with the players, writing things like “Sarah’s B—h” on Jase and “Mother Clucker” on George. At least, that’s what I assume the latter said. CBS censors got a little nervous so they blurred it out.

So the men have been fed, stripped, and marked. What’s next? “Human Blueberry!” The contestants will have to dive into a tub that is (supposedly) full of blueberries and blueberry juice. One little trivia tidbit? Blue is not a naturally-occurring food color. Blueberries, as everyone knows, are actually purple, so what that blue stuff in the tub is, I don’t know. But who cares, all the men are up for it, so in they go. George is first in, whom James describes as “FatAss Smurf,” then Kaysar (“Iraqi Smurf”—how original), Jase (“Vanity Smurf”—Blue Steel!), and finally James (“Skinny Anorexic Smurf”). Jase calls himself “Jakomis” because of his now blue hair.

While these tasks are a bit humiliating, I’m not sure how challenging they are. But that all changes with “No Veto For You.” In order to complete the task, the players will have to sit out the next veto competition in order to continue. As HoH, James decides that he can’t afford to risk it, so he opts out and quits the competition. Jase quits also, wanting a chance at the veto next week if he’s still around. So it’s down to Kaysar and George.

Finally, “Hair Today Gone Tomorrow.” Janelle reveals a barber’s chair from under a large sheet. It’s obvious; the two remaining competitors will have to shave their heads if they want to continue. George pleads quietly with Kaysar, “Cut me some slack, and I’ll remember it.” But Kaysar won’t deal and agrees to have his head shaved. Marcellas looks like he’s about to cry at the thought of his beloved Kaysar losing his beautiful hair. Howie shaves George’s head, “This’ll make you a Jedi soldier!” Chicken George with his head shaved and his round belly still stained from the blueberry bath… well, he really does look like a human blueberry. (Violet, you’re turning violet!) Marcellas, with razor in hand, tells Kaysar, “You can still quit; no one will think badly of you if you do.” But Kaysar hesitantly sits in the chair and faces his fate. “I’m just going to do this as quickly as I can; we’ll fix it later,” comforts Marcellas. Fix it? What’re you going to do, glue it back on?

So the two men have been fed, stripped, marked, bathed, veto-sacrificed, and shaved. We need a tie-breaker. With “only” sixty days left in the Big Brother house, the players have to bid how many consecutive days they would be willing to eat slop. The person who writes down the highest number of days wins the Power of Veto. Kaysar reveals his answer: 15. And George…? SIXTY. That’s right, George wanted the Power of Veto so bad that he vowed to eat slop for SIXTY straight days. Wow. Just… wow. Chicken George was handed the PoV medallion, and James went on a hissy-fit.

“Everything I worked for is down the drain,” he whines. “Hopefully… someone else will take him out.” Dude. Seriously. It’s Chicken-Friggin-George. Get over it. The BB6 alliance meet and discuss strategy in the HoH room. “Project Number One failed, so might as well go with Project Number Two, and get the strongest player out of our way,” suggests Howie. Janelle recommends nominating Jase for eviction, but James is hesitant because of the one-on-one talk they had the other day. He feels that he should put up Boogie next to Will, thereby eliminating the Chill Town alliance. But the rest of the Sixers feel that Jase is more of a direct physical threat. James doesn’t want to “back-door” Jase, nominating him without giving him a chance at the PoV.

Kaysar informs Jase of the alliance’s feelings. He tells him that they don’t want to send Will home. They’d rather send Boogie home, but they know they won’t get enough votes to eliminate Boogie (wha? They know this how?), so they next best thing is to eliminate Jase. “I don’t know how that makes sense at all. Those guys are in a tighter alliance than I am,” responds Jase. I’m starting to agree. I don’t really understand why the Sixers aren’t going straight for Will and Mike now that their vulnerability is exposed. Maybe they want to keep the floaters distracted by keeping the competition in play? “I got a raw deal,” says Jase. Yeah, I agree.

Erika, Kaysar, Danielle, Janelle, James, Diane, Marcellas, Howie, Boogie, and Will are all sitting outside when Jase comes out and begins his tantrum, slamming and throwing things around. Let the drama begin. “James, you of all people, I didn’t think you would take the bitch route.” “The fact that there was the going between the Four and the Chill Town, that right there left a lasting impression,” replies James. Jase argues that he dropped out of the PoV competition when he did because he trusted James not to back-door him. Uh, that would be a lie, Jase. You wanted to play because you knew that James could potentially nominate you if Will or Boogie won the PoV. This isn’t completely out of the, ahem, blue. Is it wrong? Probably, but you knew that it was a possible outcome. Howie asks Jase an indiscernible question, to which Jase answers, “I’ve never said s—t! Danielle knows not to say s—t and she doesn’t. Marcellas, not so good.” With that, Marcellas pulls a “Oh hellllll no” out of his bag. THIS is why we watch reality tv, people. Jase screams back, “What! Whoa! You don’t leave the HoH room, and then you come down here and tell me that we got to break up Season Six!” Fabulous. Maybe it is a bit immature, but I’m with Jase. If I’m going down, I’m calling everyone out and taking everyone with me. Marcellas retorts, “Everyone knows you have to break up Season Six! I’ve said it to them, and I’ve said it to you!” Janelle is either really confused or really surprised by what Marcellas just said. “Don’t come from kissing their ass and then come telling me, ‘Jase, we gotta take them out next week’!” yells Jase, as James just grins evilly. Jase continues, “I’m sure you didn’t tell Janelle, ‘I’m going to go tell Jase that we need to break up Season Six.’” Marcellas effectively changes subjects, disputing Jase’s so-called “integrity,” then continues, “You think you just called everybody out… everybody here’s talking about who’s grouped up and how they’re grouped up. That’s the GAME.” Jase talks to James, “We got the votes to vote Marcellas out, and you know it. And he might come next week with Chill Town or whoever else to vote you out because that’s exactly what he does. You know where I stand.” Marcellas speaks up, “Now I see what the players from Season Five hated you!” Although Jase makes a good point, taking out Marcellas would do nothing. He’s expendable anyway. Although the Sixers would carry him as far as possible, they would never carry him farther than that. The alliance to themselves is stronger than any alliance they have to any leeches.


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