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Don’t Count Your Chickens – Big Brother 7: All Stars, Episode 8


Over the past week, we’ve watched Nakomis leave the Big Brother All-Star house and James win the Head of Household competition, putting Season Six in power for the third week in a row. Marcellas has been cozying up to the Sixers, while Chicken George has played the part of Mom, cleaning up after and cooking for everyone, while discreetly listening in on conversations around the house. The BB6 alliance determined that if they got rid of George, an easy target, than any other “floater” who became HoH would not be able to use him as an easy-out, forcing him or her to choose a side. I’m not sure I agree with that logic, but so be it. James nominated George and Will, assuring Will that he was only a pawn in getting Chicken George out the door.

George isn’t too confident about his odds of staying in the house because he’s up against the doctor, “a master of this game.” Will, however, admits that he loves being nominated because he garners all the attention, gets to participate in the Power of Veto competition, and wants to play the part of the underdog. George and Howie sarcastically joke with James, telling him that he’s attacking both Chill Town (Will and Mike “Boogie”) and the “Jedi Alliance.” The Chicken Man implies that he’s not a strategic player, to which James responds, “Well, if that’s the case, should we just, like, let you get to the end? I mean, if you’re not strategic and a bad player, should we just, like, give you a check? It’s all about playing the game, George.” I’m really not sure why James has a bug up his butt when it comes to George, and Chicken George notices it as well. “We really don’t mesh.” At first, I thought that getting rid of George was a misguided strategy of James’, but now it feels like a downright aggressive attack. Seriously, James. It’s the Chicken Man. He’s about as threatening as, well, a chicken.

So how do the other houseguests feel? Janelle doesn’t believe George’s nice-guy act at all, “What a crock.” Howie likes George, the man who cooks and cleans for him, but believes that he can’t let personal feelings get in the way of his game, saying that’s what got him eliminated from Season Six. Mike “Boogie” almost feels bad for the little fireplug, but his alliance is with Will and he is hoping the doctor’s nomination will be vetoed. He is suspect of the BB6’s alliance’s plan. After all, the two nominees are the nicest guy in the house and the “most evil” guy in the house. “In what sick and twisted universe, uh, do we live in that the greatest player to ever play this game can sit on the nomination block and be called a pawn? It’s a little quizzical.” And although Danielle doesn’t like to see either Will or George on the block, she says that she’d have no doubt in voting the Chicken Man out the door.

Jase and James have a heart-to-heart, man-to-man talk in the Head of Household (HoH) room. Jase thanks James for not nominating him but also admits that he’s not there to “kiss the HoH’s ass.” Privately, he boasts that he’s not afraid of nominations because he’s confident that he can win a Power of Veto (PoV) competiton. James seems to have taken it upon himself to protect the “integrity” of the game, claiming that being a floater like George is not acceptable in the Big Brother: All-Stars season. I’m having difficulty swallowing his high-and-mighty talk. Jase agrees with him, claiming he wants to play the best of the best in a showdown. “You and I have deep respect in this game. We both got ‘back-doored’ for our level of play in this game… You and I, our battle will come. I totally want to battle James, week 10 or whatever, head-to-head.”

While Jase and James’ strategies could use some fine-tuning, Marcellas thinks they are darn pretty to look at. “There is something that is appealing about every man in this house.” Well, except Chicken George. But Kaysar? Marcellas has set up camp at his lust altar. “I am loving the Iraqi peach!” When talking about the peach’s natural scent, “that smell is better than banana cupcakes.” He admits to Janelle and Erika, “I am falling in love with Kaysar.” Later, “Kaysar is fine as hell. If [he] could just be gay, and I could just, like, get married and be happy for the rest of my life…” Oh Marcellas. Silly gay man. You need to get yourself laid before you go insane.

Marcellas tells Erika that George should be eliminated because he holds no value. “He has yet to show that he can win something.” But Erika thinks that there’s a lot more to him than he lets on. “Chill Town has to stay in the game as a sort of buffer against the four [in the BB6 alliance],” replies Marcellas. He also has to wonder though if they should take the opportunity to vote out Dr Will, seeing as there won’t be very many opportunities where he’ll be vulnerable. Maybe they should get rid of the big player now.

One night in the bug room, an impromptu rap session begins supported by the beats supplied by Kaysar. Jase raps (poorly) to his audience, including Danielle, Howie, Janelle, Diane, Boogie, and an unhappy Will. “Here I am, thinking I’m getting a good night’s sleep, when all of a sudden, 8-Mile breaks out in the bedroom.” Diane is entertained though, “What could be better than watching white boys try to rap?” Funny you should ask, Diane. Jase decides to wake up the Chicken Man (why is he sleeping on the floor?). “I have no idea how to rap,” he tells his demanding audience. What? What about all those famously horrible Chicken Raps I heard about? He takes the make-believe microphone from Jase and begins, “They call me Chicken George, I’m a Big Brother All-Star. I got voted off in Week Number Three but that’s okay with me cuz the doctor’s got the beat.” Okay, not his best, but he just woke up folks, let’s cut him some slack. “James threw me out, but I don’t care. He’ll get his chance, maybe you can wear his underwear.” Um… okay. Maybe you should stop now. I love ya George, but you’re getting weird. “I hope it’s quick cuz he’s a real d—k, I hope you take him off because he’s a kind of a j—f.” The audience roars with laughter. I have to admit, watching Chicken George the Nice Guy swear off about James made me giggle too. “George has some fight in him,” says Danielle. “So how do you think he really feels about James?” Jase sarcastically asks the audience later.

Marcellas isn’t the only one who thinks Jase and the other men are good-looking. Jase thinks he himself looks damn good, too. He spends a long time in front of the mirror, perfecting the position of each and every hair on his head. “And when he knows he’s good, he turns his head to the side… the Jase face! America, do it!” laughs Danielle. And with that, she, Will, and Boogie all imitate the model-esque pouty, ridiculous-looking face Jase mugs when he’s checking himself out in the mirror.

Howie and George share a bonding moment over beer and French fries in the kitchen. I guess French fries qualify as a vegetable. George, convinced that he’s facing his last week in the Big Brother house, tells Howie, “It’s okay. Life goes on. I hope you do good in here, Howie. No matter how you look at it, I’m rootin’ for ya… You go and win. Don’t let nobody tell you you can’t do it, cuz you can. You can do it… You’re one good dude.” Awww… even Howie feels a little tingle inside. Say what you want about George, I think he’s a good guy.

It’s time to pick players for the Power of Veto competition. Instead of using the Wheel of Veto however, the HoH and two nominees will pick a ball out of a bag to determine who will play along with them. A new feature has been added though; in addition to the balls with the players’ names on them, some of the balls display the phrase “Houseguest’s Choice,” which allows the person to choose who plays in the competition. James picks first and randomly selects Kaysar, who is all too happy to play, wanting to keep the Power of Veto out of “the wrong hands.” Will selected the blue “Houseguest’s Choice” ball, so he chose Mike to play alongside him. George reached into the bag and pulled out Jase’s name. Jase knows that if Will or Boogie win the PoV and veto Will’s nomination, he runs the risk of being nominated for eviction. There are five male competition powerhouses…and George. Poor, poor George.

Big Brother wants to see just how far the six players are willing to go for the Golden Power of Veto. Janelle hosts and informs the cast that instead of degrees, the giant Big Brother thermometer is labeled with six “unique tasks.” In order to stay in the game, each contestant must complete the task assigned, each becoming more challenging as the game goes on. If any player refuses to complete a task, he will be out of the game. Whoever completes the most tasks wins the veto.

The first task is labeled “Sloppy Surprise,” requiring the competitors to eat a bowl of slop. Danielle calls the slop, “Satan’s oatmeal.” Knowing that the slop has to nutritionally support the houseguests, I highly doubt the producers have given them simple oatmeal. I’m sure it’s laced with some kind of protein or vitamin supplement, which is never very tasty. The producers probably found the worst-tasting but still nutritional one they could find. All of the six men agree to do it and begin chowing down on the unappetizing slop. Will’s the first one out as soon as he realizes just how bad the slop is. “[He]’s a wimp,” says Jase. Poor George has got the shakes already, and Mike’s vomiting it all back up onto the backyard. Although the Chicken Man looks like he’s about to do the same, he manages to get the whole bowl down. We’re down to four players.


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