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Let Them Not Eat Cake – Big Brother 7: All Stars, Episode 5


It’s almost bedtime for the houseguests, but just before they snooze, Marcellas and Janelle take a look at the viewing wall where all the current and former guests’ pictures are. “God, we’re a good-looking cast,” says a humble Janelle. “It is like a crazy soap opera,” Marcellas agrees. They consider Will’s picture, “He’s like the evil, like, I’m so cunning…” “Look at Erika,” says Janelle, “the sultry brunette.” Marcellas insults Diane, “[she] actually looks like the trashy girl from the South.” WtF is up with all the Diane-hatred? “[Howie]’s like the perverted guy in the office that’s always grabbing people’s asses,” Janelle giggles. Marcellas fantasizes, “Mike Boogie’s the guy that’s so straight but he’s really gay and having a clandestine relationship with me.” Oh whatever, get over yourself. “But what the hell does George do at the company?” asks the black gay sweetheart. “I would say he’s the janitor,” Janelle replies. “Brilliant!” whispers Marcellas.

Back in the bug room, Janelle tells James and Howie, “The more and more I think about it, Kaysar’s nominations just suck!” Much to the guys’ surprise, Janelle informs them that Kaysar made a genuine deal with Chill Town. She leads them to believe that Mike and Will made a private deal with Kaysar, one that didn’t include the rest of BB6. James is shocked, saying he doesn’t trust Boogie or the doctor. “Boogie and Will don’t keep deals,” he says. “[Kaysar] was scared to put up Chill Town, so he makes a deal with them and takes out people that could potentially have helped us.” Kaysar’s alliance does not appear to agree with his decision, and Janelle says that she may just have to use the Power of Veto if she wins it.

It’s time to pick players for the Veto competition. Six people will participate again: the HoH, the two nominees, and three randomly selected guests. Diane is sure that no one will actually use the Veto on her or Nakomis, so she hopes for people who will be easy to beat in the competiton. Kaysar gives the Wheel of Veto a spin, which lands on Will, who doesn’t particularly care about who gets eliminated this week. Diane’s spin selects Erika, and Nakomis’ turn ends up on James, “the veto champ,” referring to his winning streak in BB6. Kaysar chooses Chicken George to host the game.

The houseguests walk onto their backyard, which has been transformed into the Big Brother Country Club. Both of the nominees know that they have to win the veto if they expect to stay in the BB house. Diane says she will be “scotch-free” for another week if she wins. Hee. Donning a polo shirt and a matching golf cap, George amusingly gives the six players (in similar attire) their instructions. The contestants have to “tee off” with an oversized golf club one at a time. The farther away from the hole their oversized yellow foam ball lands from the hole, the more “veto balls” they must place into their own tube before them. If they collect seven balls in the tube, they will be eliminated from the competition. If the golf ball lands in the area closest to the hole, the player will actually add a ball to another person’s tube.

Nakomis is up first, but her ball ends up in a water hazard, so she collects three veto balls. Diane is next, hoping to stay in the Big Brother game, but she too lands in a water hazard and collects three veto balls. “I completely repeated what Nakomis just did, so we now we both look like idiots.” James follows, hoping to throw the game and lose, not wanting to “come off too strong” as he did in BB6. He takes what looks like a genuine shot, and the ball flies toward the flagged hole, but it bounces up into the air and lands in a sandtrap. Three veto balls for James. Kaysar takes a swing, and he too ends up with three veto balls. Thrilling game here, I tell you. *yawn* The “evil doctor Will” admits that he doesn’t play a lot of golf, “especially Fred-Flintstone-club golf.” It shows in his swing, and, you guessed it, collects three veto balls. Finally, Erika takes a shot. While not great, her ball lands in a slightly better position than the rest of the group, and she earns herself only two veto balls.

So after the first round, everyone except Erika now has three balls in their tubes, so Nakomis is hopeful that she still stands a chance at winning. Nakomis tees off again and disappointedly finds herself adding another three balls to her tube. Diane follows suit. James’ ball once again lands near the hole, but doesn’t stay there, rolling down the other side of the small hill, and landing in a sandtrap. Say it with me, everyone: “Three. More. Balls.” Kaysar really concentrates on his ball and gives it a lot of effort, but not a lot of strength, so the ball doesn’t really go much of anywhere. It just plops a few feet ahead. “Kaysar, you have a limpy,” comments George. Aaaaand… that’s three more balls in Kaysar’s tube. Dr Will does a little better on this second round and lands himself only two more balls into his tube. Erika actually gives the ball the right amount of force for it to roll gently onto the green, allowing her to add one veto ball to anyone’s tube. “I figured if I put one in one of the nominee’s cylinders, then I would basically be safe,” she says in the DR, explaining why she then places the veto ball into Nakomis’ tube, eliminating her, “only because she’s a stronger player in my mind.”

With Nakomis out of the game, Diane is the first up in the third round. With six balls already in her tube, she HAS to land on the green, else she will earn one or more balls that will kill her chances at winning the veto. Her ball lands on the green… but doesn’t stay there. It rolls over to the other side, the three veto balls she suffers won’t even all fit into her tube, and she is eliminated from the game. James is also eliminated after his unfruitful attempt, but Kaysar lands on the green and places one veto ball into Dr Will’s cylinder, giving him six altogether. The doctor is up next and purposely hits the ball so hard that it appears to go flying out of the backyard. However, the ball actually comes soaring BACK into the yard, (did a crew member outside throw it back in?) but lands off the green, eliminating Will. Erika hits the ball, which goes way off course but actually hits a window awning, putting it back ON course and onto the green! She places a seventh veto ball into Kaysar’s tube. Nakomis and Diane are disappointed and don’t have much hope in the veto being used on either of them. Erika says that she “will weigh every option” to see how she can benefit from “this power.”

Danielle shares her experience of sitting on the block with Diane, who also has never been nominated before. Or, at least, has never been on the block for Eviction Night at least. Diane would like to see Erika use the veto, turning the house against the dominant BB6 alliance, but isn’t hopeful. Neither is Nakomis, knowing how Erika and Kaysar have warmed up to each other.


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