home Archive Let Them Not Eat Cake – Big Brother 7: All Stars, Episode 5

Let Them Not Eat Cake – Big Brother 7: All Stars, Episode 5

So what’s been going on? Much to the Sixers’ delight, the Big Brother rules returned to normal, and Kaysar was the sole winner of the Head of Household competition. The alliance considered dealing with their in-house enemies, Mike “Boogie” and Will, a.k.a. Chill Town. Erika and Kaysar warmed up to each other over a game of pool, opening the door to a possible “showmance.” The first food competition of the season left half the house eating an unidentified goopy substance called “slop” for a week, causing them to miss their peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches form previous seasons. Just before the nomination ceremony, Kaysar made a deal with Chill Town, saying he would eliminate a “floater” this week (instead of Boogie or Will) as long as they agreed to do the same when they became HoH. They agreed, and Kaysar nominated two BB5 players, Nakomis and Diane.

Marcellas is not happy at all about Kaysar’s “lame-ass” nominations, knowing that Boogie and Will are hoping to take Kaysar and his alliance out of the game. Even Janelle, a fellow BB6 player, thinks that the HoH took the easy way out, choosing targets that weren’t as threatening as Chill Town. Nakomis keeps it together, but she doesn’t understand Kaysar’s move either: “I am like the least freaking threatening person right now. I mean, I’m up on the block WITH my alliance. A two-person alliance! Woo!” She laughs at her own sarcasm. Diane though doesn’t take the news too well at all, saying, “Don’t even worry about it,” but crying at the same time. She runs off to her room with the HoH close behind her, gets under the covers in bed, and continues crying. “You don’t know how difficult that decision was,” Kaysar tries to comfort her. He explains in the Diary Room that Nakomis is a strong player who “is stealth, listens, and is very aware,” while Diane “knows how to get on people’s good side and rally the troops.” Mmhmm. Excuse me while I check my shoes for bullcrap. Then again, one could argue it’s because of his aggressive nominations in BB6 that he got eliminated from the house not once but twice. “Once burnt, twice shy” perhaps. Nakomis, although less emotional, agrees that it’s difficult to face the fact that either she or her “only real friend in the game” will likely be sent out. Diane breaks down, saying through her tears that she doesn’t belong in the house full of cutthroats. Her fellow nominee has to wonder how Diane’s tears will affect the rest of the house: “Who would want to kick out the poor girl that got her feelings hurt?” After Kaysar and Nakomis leave the room, Boogie arrives and tries to comfort Diane… with lies, of course. “I swear to you on our future friendship we did not make a deal.” Talk about a valuable friendship.

While Nakomis and Diane are understandably distraught, Will and Boogie are loving every minute of their deal with Kaysar. In the Diary Room (DR), the ‘evil’ doctor and Mike have a fake phone conversation. Boogie: “Check this out.” Will: “Let me hear it.” Mike: “So, I’m at the nomination ceremony, and Kaysar put BOTH our keys in the box!” They both laugh hysterically at themselves. The doctor thinks that his challenge to the Head of Household (“Nominate me!”) actually produced a reverse-psychological effect. They both believe that their pairing is stronger than the four-strong “SeaSick” alliance because they play “without fear.”

James, Janelle, Jase and J— um, I mean, Marcellas examine the tarantulas on display in one of the bedrooms. “I’ve never seen them move,” says James of the four spiders. “We should name them,” suggests Janelle. “We should name them after the houseguests that didn’t get in,” James says. “The little one right here, that can be Cowboy,” begins Janelle. She continues, “Monica’s the big black one… Bunky’s the hairiest…” “The pretty one can be Lisa,” concludes Marcellas. “They’re actually beautiful in this weird way,” he admits privately.

Jase and James philosophize later in the same room. “I used to party my ass off,” confesses Jase. “But I’m like, I’m so over it.” They are both 30 years old, which “does not seem old at all” to James. “I thought it would be when I was younger,” says Jase. James asserts, “We were all very different people the last time we did this show.” Uh, James? You did this show last year. Not THAT long ago. Jase tells James, “Well, I mean, I was just like the single guy that was like never getting married, never settling down, nobody could… y’know, whatever.” With watery eyes, he talks about his fiancé’s daughter, “she calls me ‘Daddy Jase.’” While I may be able to admit that Jase is certainly a lot more likable than his BB5 appearance, this love fest the editors seem to have going for him is suspect.

One evening, Will is holding court at the hot tub, surrounded by Chicken George, Boogie, Erika, and Jase. “One thing that everyone has to be on the same page on is no one can deny that Season Six is totally together. Whoever wins the next HoH has to put up two of them. No choice. The thing is, they have such good odds. They have four chances every time.” The doctor is hoping that as long as he puts thoughts of doubt and suspicion into the others’ heads, they will do the work of eliminating the Sixers for him. Jase and Erika know that no matter how friendly the BB6 alliance is to them, they will always be outsiders, prone to elimination when they are no longer of use to the “SeaSick.” Mike says, “George, I think this is the first conversation you’ve actually been privy to where we need to see where you lie. Are you not afraid of them?… Can we count on you that you do understand that the four of them are a big threat?” The Chicken Man replies, “Yes, I understand, and I’m cool.” Hmm… how interestingly non-committal. However, he later says in the DR, “They already come in with an alliance.” Um, George, dear, so have Will and Boogie, the ones leading you around right now.

Time for a comedy skit, eh? It’s shower time for Howie, and he decides to use the private HoH bathroom while Kaysar listens to tunes on his headphones in the bedroom. Howie steps into the stall and once out of the peeping eye of the camera, chucks his shorts and begins his shower. But once his shower’s over, Howie comes to a ‘revealing’ discovery. “I forgot my f—king towel.” With a worried look on his face that makes me giggle nonstop, he glances at the camera. “Kays? Kaysar?” he calls. “Oh, he’s playing tunes,” he remembers with a dejected look on his face. He peeks out of the shower stall door to see just how far away his towel is. “It is freezing out there,” he says to no one in particular. “Lil’ Howie’s getting smaller and smaller.” I’ll keep the comments about the Jedi’s manhood to myself. “Hey Kays!” he calls again, but his pleas fall on occupied ears. He glares at the camera angrily. Howie is not happy about having to reveal himself. He musters up some courage, covers up his “cash and prizes” with his hands, and braves the chill of the bathroom to retrieve his towel.
Outside, Diane admits to Kaysar and Nakomis that she will probably be leaving California if she leaves the BB house because she doesn’t have any money. She considers living with her sister (back home in Ohio?). It’s rough living day-to-day, hand-to-mouth, paycheck-to-paycheck, or however else you want to put it. Nakomis jokes with Diane, suggesting she find a rich husband. “The American Dream,” she replies, “just marry into wealth.”

Nakomis is bored with her look and decides to dye her hair bright yellow, orange, and red, making it appear very fiery. Jase and Boogie both react with a very “Whoa! OMG!” manner, and Marcellas says privately that she looks like “a hot mess.” Will compares her head to “a deviled egg.” “It’s not the color of the hair’s fault the face is ugly,” Howie, the hypocrite, remarks. I actually think her hair looks great. Hawt, one might say. “It’s really hard for me to let people get to know me just because I’m so incredibly different from everybody else,” admits Nakomis, “I mean, so what, I have orange and yellow hair. And sure, sometimes I feel a little bit weird, but at the end of the day, I can say that I’m a really good person, and I’m cool with that, y’know?”