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Simon Messes With Texas – American Idol 5, 2-1-06


by Kym

Is it me, or does anyone else notice that American Idol now shows all of the people who are not good, and just shows glimpses of those who are good? I am kind of getting irritated with this because it is ruining the experience of having awful singers present. Its no longer funny for me.

Another new change to this season is the fact that Simon now provides commentary on the audition while they are walking out of the room. I certainly hope he is taking this into consideration when staffing his security team! Something else, is that a lot of those who audition are rather good looking from the get-go if Simon is going to like them. What is up with the fat jokes? I am getting sick of them. Perhaps that is why their ratings have dropped in excess of 10 million viewers from their first season.

I thought that this competition was “AMERICAN IDOL”, not “AMERICA’S TOP MODEL!” Everyone is beautiful in their own way!

Back to the show, I think that some people seriously have to grow up and get over their obsessions with stars. The first contestant, Paula, seemingly obsessed with Paula Abdul was kind of creepy. She was dressed kind of scary, and sounded like a sheep on fire. She kind of reminded me of Stan’s older sister on South Park, Shelley.

Good thing the Embalmer pumped some life into the auditions; I have a feeling that if these auditions don’t get any better, something has got to give.

Sierra, a beautiful girl was next. Simon of course, liked her at first by looks alone… but as it turned out, she really did not sound very beautiful at all. She sang a religious song, but unfortunately sounded as if she was gargling holy water while doing it. Poor girl… good thing she has her looks!

Let’s hear it for the music majors!!! This guy , Ricky was so good. He has the confidence and the looks.

William, William, William, when will men stop singing Aretha Franklin? Hopefully soon! He could kind of sing, but really, he seemed more like a transsexual on review. He got through, but personally, I really did not like him.

Tessie…Compared to Diana DiGarmo? Ummmm no. Maybe a stomach pump, but not Diana DiGarmo. So she says, “I know I sing good”. Ok hmm, well, maybe she thinks that she sings well but in actuality she does sound like something… a cat, in heat.

Not much else to say about Texas. Next, off to Boston, a place where I am very familiar and where most of my family resides. This should be wicket ah-sum (translation: wicked awesome).

You can contact Kym at Kym@realityshack.com.


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