By Cori Linder
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, there lived a little business planet where ambitious young Trump-wannabees mingled together in tailored suits, each striving to become a hero in a task and avoid the wrath of Darth Trump.
The name of the show, “The Apprentice,” comes in quite handy for the latest episode, for the teams’ task is to create a retail display for “Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.” For many of you die-hard Star Wars fans out there (like myself), the release of Episode III is bitter-sweet: It is definitely one of the best of the entire series, but it is *sniff sniff* the last (at least for now…unless Lucas changes his mind and creates Episodes VII, VIII, and IX).
So, being the loyal fan of Star Wars, imagine the amount of dismay (and utter shock!) I felt when nobody on the Excel team knew much about Star Wars except for Randall! When Brian asked Randall to give him the complete low-down on the entire Star Wars series—from Episode 1 to Episode 6—I suddenly realized that the inside of my mouth had turned dry because my jaw was hanging on the floor. Brian might as well as have asked him to summarize the Bible in a paragraph. (Side note: I couldn’t help but stare when I saw the apparent height difference between Randall and Brian…yowsers, I say!)
Onto the team members… The wrath of Clay somehow did not fit with the polka-dotted shirt he was wearing. But, through assertiveness and hard-nosed control, Alla managed to whip those polka-dots into a straight, unyielding line. She already has 4 kids of her own, so what’s one more? And, although she was NOT the project manager, she sure acted like one. And, I have to say that she is impressing me more and more.
When Excel missed their meeting with the Lucas representatives, I knew they were doomed. Now come on, Brian, you live in Manhattan, New York, and you only allowed 15 minutes to get to the meeting AND catch a taxi?! His one-liner was classic: “Little did I now that traffic would be so brutal.” I have been to Times Square, New York only once—long enough to take a few pictures in the middle of the street—and the cattle of cars was so glaringly obvious. Excel ended up being a ½ hour late, and I was pleased to see that the executives told them there would be no meeting. This endorses my mantra of: You snooze, you lose. No man without time management skills will ever survive in the Trump organization.
When it came time to put up the display, Marshawn and Randall argued a bit about what characters should be promoted. Randall wanted the old-school characters while Marshawn wanted the newer, more eccentric ones (or as my son refers to them as “the freaky ones”…of course, these are his favorite…especially Darth Maul from Episode I. My favorite was General Grievous, but I digress). The problem with their display ended up being that Darth Vader wasn’t the focus of the display. I mean, if you step back and look at the entire Star Wars series, it’s really about the story of Darth Vader.
Fast forward to the boardroom when the “reward” is announced for the winning team. They get to spend time with Bill Rancic, a previous winner of “The Apprentice.” And, I cannot help but ask: “Could the producers not find a really exciting reward adventure so they had to resort to putting the team members in close contact with Bill in his construction hat?” Perhaps, I have been spoiled by previous rewards. And, whatever happened to the winners from the past two seasons?
In the boardroom, Darth Trump destroyed Marshawn and Brian, and the shocked look on Randall’s face inspired a chuckle from me. I also had to laugh when Marshawn and Brian were sitting side by side in the taxi, with Marshawn talking negatively about Brian while he remained silent. May the Force be with you both…