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One Big Happy Merge (Yeah, Right) – Survivor: Guatemala, Episode 8


by atarus

The episode starts off with Nakum being surprised by Yaxha in the middle of the night. Bobby Jon says that they don’t know what’s going to happen when they’re there, he can’t be around Steph for five minutes before he wants to vomit, and he can’t be around Jamie for five minutes before he wants to punch him. Jamie shows why Bobby Jon has this inclination when he decides to tell the four Yaxhas “There’s no room in the shelter, hope you all are okay with sleeping outside.” Bobby Jon retorts in his confessional, saying “if you say one more thing, I’m gonna knock every one of your teeth out of your head.” Or something like that. Bobby Jon, you’re my hero.

Brandon points out that now that they’re merged, everyone thinks it’ll be one happy family, but that’s not how it works. Danni says the Nakums weren’t that friendly or warm, and that they feel like slaves. Brandon says he knows it’s Bobby Jon or him first and things aren’t looking very up. Rafe and Lydia come back with a treemail with a twist: there’s a small hidden immunity idol out in the jungle … you can grab it and can use it at any Tribal council up until the final 4. Jamie says they’re looking for an idol “this big” (holds up two fingers) in a jungle “this big” (holds out arms). Brandon observes that finding the immunity idol is like finding a needle in a haystack, you could be looking for days and days and still not find it, but he could really use it. Bobby Jon talks to Steph (without vomiting I might add) and tells her he just really wants to make jury, and Steph promises him that she’ll push for Brandon as long as he doesn’t win immunity.

Lydia makes the point that the new tribe still doesn’t have a name. The tribes are very unoriginal and decide to call the tribe Xhakum, a mixture of the two names. Like that hasn’t been done before. And then it’s back to lamenting about the hidden idol. Jamie says the immunity idol might be worth a million dollars, and Bobby Jon says he spends about an hour each day looking for it. Judd says he’s exhausted from searching for it, and we get to hear Rafe recount a tale about how he searched for the idol and ended up in a hornet’s nest. We get to see footage of him running away from the hornets too! Glee! Note to CBS and Mark Burnett: If you keep filling up my hour of Survivor every week with 10-15 minutes of hidden immunity idol lamenting like you did this week … I’m going to be very angry with you and still watch the show. But I’ll be doing it in a pissed off manner, so how can you live with yourself, Burnett?!

It’s now time for the Complain-A-Thon 2005! Stephenie complains about the fact that usually there’s a merge feast and she really wants food. “The immunity idol is cool and all, but I’d much rather eat.” I wonder if her thoughts on immunity vs. food would change if she was the minority tribe. I bet if in Palau there’d been an idol instead of a feast she would have been all over it. Hmmmm. Anyway, Danni notes that Nakum complains all the time and it’s so negative at camp. Rafe says that the Nakums “hang out and eat honey” but he’s not cool with the attitude that they don’t do anything while the Yaxhas do everything. Judd makes the comment that “whoever catches the biggest fish goes home first.” And everyody has a jolly laugh about it. Rafe then says that he had a sad realization, “am I a member of the Axis of Evil”? Yes, Rafe. I’m sorry, but yes you are. He says that “bashing people when they’re not around to build group unity is not a pretty way to play this game.” Brandon says “all they do is complain” and Bobby Jon says “you didn’t eat on the last Survivor, you’re not gonna eat on this Survivor, and they ain’t gonna eat on the next Survivor.” Again, Bobby Jon’s words of wisdom are music to my ears.

It’s a pool party. Now, suddenly, the Nakums are grateful for a pool. Now that they can use it and kick out the people that won it. Bobby Jon makes the observation that he doesn’t think the Nakum’s fairy tale will come true. “They think those six will make the final six, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” Judd says about the impending IC “this is the first individual immunity challenge, and heads are gonna roll.” Brandon tells the camera that he has to get himself pumped up, and he’s got a long road ahead of him.

The Survivors come to the challenge and see a lot of food spread out before them. Jeff announces the twist to the challenge. The Survivors can either participate in the challenge and not eat, or eat and not participate in the challenge. Rafe, Lydia, Jamie, and Steph choose to sit out and pig out. (Shocked? I’m not.) Random question: Of the challenges so far, how many has Lydia actually competed in? Like six or seven? Out of thirteen or fourteen? *shakes head*

The goal of the challenge is to stand on a block and keep a pot on your head for an hour. If it lasts more than an hour then the remaining ones will participate in a tiebreaker. While the six Xhakums (I shudder at that name) are standing around being potheads (snicker) Jamie decides to stir the pot (hahaha, oh I crack myself up) by poking at Bobby Jon. He tells Jeff that “Judd is up there protecting our lead” and when asked by Jeff, clearly states that the six Nakums will be sticking together. Jamie then tells Bobby Jon “you knew you had to win immunity today, bud.” And later just says “so how you doing, Bobby Jon?” Jeff asks him “Are you consciously trying to rub it in?” Rafe actually gets to tears, telling Jamie and Steph that “I feel bad, let’s just eat and not talk to them.” Eventually Danni loses her pot, but the other five last the hour and it’s time for the tiebreaker. They have to race up the temple carrying the pot on their head, but cannot use their hands to hold the pot. The first person up without breaking the pot or the person that gets the furthest if they all break them wins immunity. They’re off! It’s a clear race between Brandon, Bobby Jon, and Gary, but Brandon and Bobby Jon both lose their pots and Gary ends up victorious and immune.

It’s now time for the Pre-TC Voting Scramble(tm)! Judd starts chewing out Jamie back at camp. “I don’t care what you do, if you wanna eat, eat! Every time you were talking was the only thing getting me pissed, you were yapping your mouth, shut up, man, shut up!” The fact that I was actually enjoying watching Judd ream Jamie shows just how much Jamie irritated me this episode. Danni notes that Jamie is “cocky and arrogant and it was a slap in the face.” And then she simply calls him an ass. Cindy says people are seeing Jamie’s immaturity, and even Judd’s like “keep your mouth shut.” (Cindy obviously doesn’t hold Judd in high regard.) Rafe says that he feels crappy and he knows who he wants to be voted out. He states “I cannot respect myself and go far in this game with Jamie.” Judd, Steph, and Bobby Jon are talking, and he says he’s “not gonna babysit nobody” and Jamie can’t talk when we’re in the middle of a challenge. Bobby Jon tells the camera that Jamie is digging a hole in his own tribe and all he does is mouth off at challenges. He says he wanted to step off the platform with the bucket on his head and smash it over Jamie’s.

When Jamie ribs Bobby Jon and Brandon and tells them that Brandon’s going home, Bobby Jon just ignores him and says “if I do go home tonight, I go home.” Jamie keeps poking the two of them, saying “I’ve been honest this whole game, we’re all good farm boys, if you gotta say something, say something.” But Brandon and Bobby Jon continue to ignore him and Jamie walks off. Bobby Jon then tells Brandon there’s a chance Jamie will go home instead, his own tribe doesn’t like him. Brandon then says “I’ve been mentally prepared to go home, and now this comes by. This is Survivor, people change around, something is starting to happen.” Gary tells Rafe “If we do what’s right, we vote for Jamie.” Danni tells Cindy “Do what you need to do, but Brandon’s an awesome guy.” Cindy says “I’d rather hurt Jamie’s feelings than Brandon’s. My heart tells me to vote Jamie, but this game is not about who’s deserving.”

Tribal Council questioning time! Jeff talks to Rafe, and Rafe says “it was hard to hear Jamie’s comments” because he didn’t want it to become us vs. them. Bobby Jon tells everybody that he thought Jamie had no class; “go Judd woo woo woo!” was no class. Jamie and Bobby Jon then revert to typical male behavior, with arguments like “He can think what he wants to think,” “Just shut up,” and “We’ll see who the bigger man is on the field.” When Jeff asks Cindy about the fact that Jamie was talking about Judd protecting “their” lead and completely ignoring Cindy, Cindy states “well who am I? Am I an idiot for standing up here?” She also makes the connotation that she can eat all the time, but Survivor is a one time thing. Gary makes one last subtle plea to everybody, saying “When you leave this game, your heart is going to tell you what’s right or wrong.”

No surprise, Jamie votes Brandon, saying “Good man, sorry you have to go.” Bobby Jon votes Jamie, saying “You say you have Southern pride, part of that is being a Southern gentleman.” The votes are tallied, and while there is suspense, tribal lines stick and Brandon goes in a 6-4 vote.

Next time on Survivor: The battle continues between Bobby Jon and Jamie, and one person (JUDDJUDDJUDD) loses all respect (of the tribe? of one person? Thanks preview, for being so clear.)

Brandon’s final words: I played the game I came here to play, I wasn’t all about the money, I was playing the game for myself.

Well I’m sad to see Brandon leave. I really liked all of the new Yaxha tribe (yes, even down to Blake) and to see them dwindling is sad. Maybe it’s the editing, maybe it’s the fact I always root for the underdogs, but for whatever reason, I hope Danni, Gary, or Bobby Jon can pull something off. And if not them, Cindy or Rafe. Just don’t let Steph, Judd, and Jamie walk to the finals, please. My e-mail is atarus33@yahoo.com if you have comments about the episode or this season in general. I’d love to hear them. See you next week!


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