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Bubbles, Booze and Deceit; A Lousy Combination – America's Next Top Model 5, Episode 5


by Syrone Harvey

On the previous episode of America’s Next Top Model 5 things escaladed, causing further division within the Top Model group. In a nutshell: Pretentious Lisa became a pain in everyone’s backside, especially Coryn’s. After a heated exchange of words, Coryn straight out told Lisa that she didn’t like her and told her not to talk to her. (She’d pretend Lisa didn’t exist.) Lisa showed Nicole her booze stash, but made it known she wasn’t willing to share. Jayla continued to lose most of her religious values, opting instead for the wilder side of life. Finally, the judges decided Diane wasn’t being herself, so the beautiful, plus-sized model was sent packing.

Eight girls now remain in the ANTM competition. Since Nik and Diane were pretty tight, she’s having a hard time dealing with Diane’s elimination. She struggles with feelings of vulnerability and distrust of the other girls. She’s decided it might be best for her to rely on the only person she can trust; herself.

Jayla is determined to be the next top model. She plans on clawing her way to the top if necessary and mowing down anyone that stands in her way. Lisa adds a tad too many bubbles to the spa. The spa begins to overflow with frothy, white bubbles. But, since Lisa loves bubbles, she becomes louder and brassier than ever. Kim comments about Lisa always being the center of attention. Coryn is hoping and praying Lisa will be the next one eliminated.

Kyle and Bre notice Lisa is reaching for booze as often as possible. Bre is concerned about how much and how quickly she is drinking. Of course, with a little booze in her system Lisa is the fun, party girl. A drunken, bubble clad Lisa slides into the house wondering aloud, why she doesn’t have any friends. Do we need to spell it out to her??

Jay calls the girls upstairs where on a table is a spread of food items such as eggs, honey, bananas etc. Jay reminisces about his very first time working with a modeling icon. Then he says, “Come on out.” Super fashion model Iman walks in. The girls are floored to see her. Jay shares with the girls the beauty book Iman has written.

“The most important key in modeling is skin care,” Iman tells the models. She says, “It don’t mean a thing if you don’t have the skin.” She gives them a lesson on organic skin care. Then the models are given cards with simple homemade recipes for healthier skin. The girls then have an opportunity to whip up a batch of homemade facial masks, moisturizes and emollients. Although things are sticky, gloppy and somewhat gooey, the girls learn the importance of having flawless skin.

Jay explains the first challenge. The girls are to be spokesmodels for a honey banana firming mask. Not only will they appear on a mock TV program where they’ll have to address a list of essential elements about the organic product, they will be scored on the number of key points they mention in order to best sell the product. They are given a script with a list of the key points they must include in their mock interview.

Stand up comedian Chris Spencer is on hand to greet the girls. He tells them they will each have a 3 minute interview with him. The goal is for each of the girls to endorse the product using the key elements. The winner will be determined by the number of key points they manage to name.

An overly confident Lisa feels she has the lines memorized. Jayla too is eager to show her stuff. Unfortunately Chris feels Jayla is boring enough to put him to sleep. Coryn interviews next. Chris feels Coryn is totally clueless about what is going on. Bre is next. Chris enjoys making things hard for Bre by trying to distract her. But, Bre manages to pull off a decent interview.

Kim ingeniously jots the product points on her hand. (What a creative cheat sheet.) Chris discovers it though and calls her on it. Chris gives Nik an even harder time. Nicole attempts to sell the product but comes up short. Kyle is about the only one who manages to address most of the key points. Lisa somehow forgets her lines, and resorts to ad-libbing.

Kyle is the ultimate winner of this challenge. She selects one person she can share the experience with. She chooses Nicole. As the winners, they will host a VH-1 cable TV show called The Fabulous Life of Supermodels. They’ll be guest hosts and get to count down the five most fabulous models on the planet. The models agree that VH-1 is totally hot. Jayla says it’s unfair to win 2 challenges in a row. Lisa also is bitten by the green eyed envy bug. The girls discuss their individual presentations. Bre remarks, “Lisa’s was the best.” Lisa does a happy dance in response.

Lisa starts things by telling the others that Coryn made a negative comment to her and said, “You need to come up with another dance move.” Coryn doesn’t deny it. Lisa says she has reached her limit. She tells Coryn, “You need to stop hating on people, especially me.” Coryn says, “What?? You say you’re not hating but yet you go around telling all the girls they need to work on this and they need to do this…” Lisa says at least she is being a friend and not just blowing smoke up everyone’s ass. She feels she has only been helpful to the girls.

Finger wagging, Coryn tells her, “No, you ain’t no friend to nobody.” Lisa looks like she just got smacked. She says, “You’re the only one that dislikes me.” Coryn clarifies things, “No, I’m the only one who told you to your face I don’t like you.” Lisa defends herself and says she is not trying to hurt anyone, but is honestly trying to help. (In the background Kim and Nik try to suppress laughter.)

Coryn moves away and mumbles, “Oh my goodness.” Lisa tells her not to go over there and talk about it, that if she has a problem, she needs to say it to her face. Coryn is fed up. She tells Lisa to shut up. (Twice) Lisa continues to push the issue. Coryn reminds Lisa that she’s already told her she doesn’t like her and has no plans to talk to her. Lisa tells her, “Then if you don’t want to talk to me then don’t go over there and talk about me.” Coryn says, “I can easily pretend you don’t exist.” Lisa thinks Coryn is immature and needs to grow up. She tells her she is “presenting herself like a moron.” To that, Coryn replies, “And what are you doing you alcoholic bitch.” (Someone’s getting ready to throw down.)

Lisa’s never before been hated by anyone. I guess there’s always a first time. The girls head back to the house. Lisa realizes the other models really don’t care about her. She blames it all on being sensitive to things such as this. Nik admits to withdrawing from the others because she doesn’t like dealing with so much drama. She says you can’t even trust your friends. (It’s sad to have to watch your own back.)

Lisa sits alone outdoors having a smoke. Nicole and Jayla confess that neither of them likes Lisa and probably half the girls in the house would agree. Jayla says she knew it was bound to happen cause Lisa keeps putting herself in these types of situations. They feel she isn’t helping anyone. If anything, Lisa is causing more people to become mad at her. They feel the drama in the house is a lot like high school.

Kyle and Nicole head off to meet up with Kevin Mock, the show’s director. He gives them a quick premise of the show and tells them to show a lot of energy and most of all have fun.

On the sidelines Lisa is about to burst with envy. She just “KNOWS” she could’ve done a better job. She says if she had won the challenge she would talk very sophisticated and give her honest opinions. The director interrupts her jealous ranting to tell her to keep it down. Lisa replies, “Oh, I’m practicing in case I’d won.” Kevin Mocks gives a little chuckle and asks her to be quiet for at least 30 seconds. He is almost at a point of pleading with her. Maybe he should’ve come straight out like Coryn and told her to shut up. He is cordial though. He tells her good luck with her practicing, but repeats that she needs to be quiet for 30 seconds. As he leaves the room, Lisa rolls her eyes in disbelief and says, “He just doesn’t even know. He just doesn’t even get it.”

As the girls finish up, Kevin thanks them and tells them they both did a wonderful job. In the other room, Lisa gives a sick look and says, “Uuh, I’m so disgusted.” (Now who exactly is hating on WHO?) Lisa heads out to the kitchen to bust open a bottle of wine. Everyone is noticing Lisa’s drinking habits. Kyle says the judges won’t want to choose someone who is an alcoholic to be America’s Next Top Model. Nicole says Lisa’s attitude and the drinking thing is totally bizarre.

Outside, Lisa is finishing off the bottle of wine. Barely able to stand she heads off. Kim laughs at a drunken Lisa. Bre tells Kim to stop. None of them want to encourage or feed into Lisa’s drinking habit.

Lisa realizes she is in a different place in the house. She is being perceived differently. She’s miffed no one recognizes the good and nice things she has done. She stumbles outside to a lounge chair. She feels betrayed by everyone and feels no one is cutting her any slack. She feels hurt and has no one she can trust. Except for “Cousin It.” Cousin It is a furry bush on the other end of the pool. Lisa reveals her thoughts to Cousin It who listens intently. She says, “I love Cousin It. I feel like me and Cousin It are almost the same.” “What’s the secret?” she asks her bushy, green confidante. She lets him off the hook and says, “No, its cool man. You don’t have to tell me.” (????!!??) She falls, (passes out) into a peaceful slumber.

Bre looks outside and sees Lisa asleep on the porch. She goes to Kim and says, “That girl has a lot of issues.” Kim says, “It’s because she’s a cracked out bitch” She tells the others Lisa was drunk last night, then started drinking at 2:00 p.m. that day. She’s been drunk all day and drunk all night. The girls are smart enough to know it’s not right for her to be drunk both day and night. Bre decides to go outside and check on her. It’s a good thing someone has compassion for her. They wake her and lead her towards the house.

Later, Lisa is on the phone talking to her boyfriend. She tells him it’s hard keeping things together. Her boyfriend consoles her and tells her it’s okay. Lisa begins crying. Her boyfriend asks her what’s wrong. Lisa starts hyperventilating. In between breaths she says, “It’s like its just exploding.” Her boyfriend suggests she hold her breath for about 10 seconds. He’s obviously aware Lisa’s about to hit bottom.

Bre understands the pressure and anxiety of this competition, but feels Lisa is only getting worse and not handling things. She realizes no one can help Lisa at this point. She approaches her, hands her a wad of tissue and tells her to focus and “pull it together.” (Hmm, that ought to do it.)

The next day, Tyra pops in and tells the girls to grab some pillows. She feels a gab session might be needed. She asks the girls if they are relying on any vises such as smoking, eating etc. Bre says sleep helps her to get rested and prepared for the next challenge. Tyra asks, “Who smokes?” Both Kim and Jayla raise their hands. Tyra tells them 98% of models either smoke or have smoked. She says they resort to smoking to deal with eating. She tells the girls that her grandma died of lung cancer at the age of 50. She explains how smoking causes damage to your face, skin etc and reduces your modeling career almost by half.

Lisa pipes up, “I drink wine.” Tyra jokingly asks, “Are you a wino?” She replies, “Yeah I’m a wino.” Tyra asks if she needs to drink every day. Lisa says, “No, I don’t have to.” She describes the feelings of drinking wine as something that is “nice” and relaxing. Tyra asks if she drinks to get drunk. Lisa straight up lies to Tyra and says, “No.” This leaves the girls who have seen her drunken stupors angry at her.

Tyra Mail arrives. It says the models need to get ready to juggle. Although Lisa realizes she has been on a non stop roller coaster ride with her emotions, she says the competition means so much to her. She plans to give it all she’s got.

The models arrive at Quixote where they are greeted by Jay. He tells them they will be doing a commercial for Secret Platinum Gel deodorant. The girls will deal with the hectic lives of professional models that shoot commercials, do photo shoots, and finally, press releases all in the same day. He introduces the girls to Bill Heuberger, the director of the commercial shoot, and Jason Willheim, the photographer. There’s a twist; the girls will reveal their own personal secrets for the commercial. They rush to get dressed and made up. Meanwhile the girls practice their lines. Nik says, “What’s my secret? I’m afraid of the dark and sleep with a nightlight.” Unfortunately, Jayla overhears Nik practicing.

Lisa is the first one to do the commercial. Her secret is that she tells herself she is beautiful every day. She nails the commercial without any difficulty. She moves on to the photo shoot, then to the press interview. She is on top of the world. The other girls are shocked. They expected her to be off her game. The girls fly through each area of the challenge from the commercial, next to the photo shoot and finally to be interviewed by Ryan Devlin from Entertainment Tonight. Each model approaches each aspect with a different spin. Aside from a few flub ups things are going well.

Then, Coryn is next up. She immediately stumbles over the lines which causes her to lose confidence. She ends up struggling through the commercial. She barely slides through the other parts. She gave a good effort trying to hold it all together.

Bre tells Jay that both she and Jayla share the same secret. Nik says, “It’s the same but mine is a little different. She’s afraid of the dark, and I am too, but I sleep with a nightlight.” Jay says even if they’re the same, work it. Nik is unsettled. She realizes Jayla overheard and stole her secret. Jayla is in front of the camera first. At first she says her secret is that she is “afraid of the dark.” The next time, Jayla adds, “I sleep with a nightlight.”

Nik can’t believe her ears. She says, “Jayla knew mine was similar.” Jayla nails every aspect of the fast paced shoot, and is proud of herself. Nik is completely rattled. She tries to stay focused on her own lines, but is scared to death. The director tells her to do her lines. She warns him that he has already heard her secret before. I’m betting he thinks Nik stole hers from Jayla. Nik struggles big time. She obviously loses confidence and barely makes it through the shoot. She worries she might be going home after such a disastrous shoot.

Nik is willing to give Jayla the benefit of the doubt. Jayla and Lisa sit outside sharing a smoke. Jayla says she is sick of dealing with Nik’s cold shoulder and is clueless why she’s acting the way she is. Lisa says, “Are you serious?” With Lisa’s nudging, Jayla figures things out. Jayla is ticked at Nik and decides to cut her off. She places Nik on her bad side. If Nik and Jayla end up in a room alone something big is going to happen.

Tyra Mail comes in telling the girls to get ready to stand before the judges. The girls are nervous and uncertain about where they stand with their various challenges and shoots.

The guest judge is Bill Heuberger. First to show off her commercial is Nicole. Suddenly Tyra announces to the girls that one of them will actually have their photo shoot in next week’s People Magazine. The judges will determine the winner.

Jayla strolls up next. The judges seemed impressed by Jayla’s shoot. Coryn follows Jayla. The judges immediately notice Coryn comes across as sad and expressionless. Kyle doesn’t fare as badly, although she is also critiqued. Bre is up next. Tyra thinks Bre’s commercial was good, although the judges feel her shoot was lacking. The judges feel even though there’s something “not quite right” about Kim, she comes across successfully.

Lisa strolls up wearing a perky outfit. She explains, “I was feeling happy, bubbly.” The judges review her commercial, the shoot and press interview and feel Lisa has done did the best so far. Nik walks up next. Miss J notices her stressed shoulders. They aren’t impressed. Tyra feels Nik’s commercial was the weakest there. Nik starts to explain, but instead composes herself and refuses to go any further with an explanation.

The judges deliberate. Jayla comes off a little cross eyed in her photo but Tyra feels her photo comes off as magical. The judges realize this hasn’t been a good week for Nik. Nicole isn’t showing model potential. The judges are uncertain about her. Twiggy says Kyle is a lovely girl, but a bit ordinary. Nigel says there is something about Kim that leaves the viewer wanting more. Coryn, Twiggy says, looks great; her face looks wonderful. Bill says Coryn’s sad quality makes him like her even more. Nigel disagrees and says, “When was the last time you chose a model just because she looked sad?” Bre, the judges feel looks bored, and didn’t have a good shoot this week. Lisa receives great praise from the judges. Nigel says, “There is something about the girl that leaves you wanting more. But, I actually can’t stand Lisa.” (He isn’t the only one.)

The girls return. There are 8 beautiful girls, but only 7 will be chosen. Lisa is the first one called. Tyra tells her she rocked it. Jayla and Kim are the next ones called. Tyra announces the next girl whose ad will also run in People magazine … Nicole. Kyle is called next. The last model called is Bre. This leaves Nik and Coryn.

Tyra starts with Coryn. She feels she is so beautiful and so radiant, but yet she appears to be so sad. She says some of the judges feel Coryn should be saved from the crazy cutthroat world of modeling. Nik, Tyra says, didn’t rock the photo shoot, and her commercial was stiff and seemed totally rehearsed. The picture Tyra pulls out is Nik’s. “You have to work,” she tells her.

Coryn is sent packing. Everyone, including Lisa, sends her off with a group hug. While Coryn packs, she smiles and says, “It’s a load off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe again. It’s a lot less stress to go through. It’s my time to go. There’s a lot of things out there for me. My life is going to change.” It’s as if Coryn feels a sense of relief being chosen to go home. Based on all the drama and excitement, I’d probably be ready to dash out the door too. Well, another pretty girl is sent home.

What do you think? I’d love to know. You can contact me at syrone@realityshack.com
Until then…