Wow. A whole summer of Big Brother live feeds is finally coming to a close. We’ll never again have to listen to Maggie belch, or Ivette complain. No more Janie-bashing. Hallelujah! But first, let’s review the final day, then we can give thanks that we all came out of this with most of our brain cells still intact.
Just after 5am, both Ivette and Maggie are awake. They check the time and wonder why they woke up. Maggie offers to scratch Ivette’s back, and is turned down. She offers three times to give Ivette a massage or to get something for her. She asks repeatedly, “Do you need anything?” “Are you sure?”, but Ivette just wants to go back to sleep. You know, Maggie is going to be sequestered tonight in a hotel before the Town Hall meeting on House Calls tomorrow. I wonder how she will ever be able to sleep on her own? Ivette gets up to have a glass of OJ before heading back to bed.
Five hours later, Ivette and Maggie are up for good now. Ivette remarks that it rained last night, which Maggie thinks is funny. No idea why. They feed the fish, and Maggie instructs Ivette to put a “big chunk” in for the one named Jenny, because apparently she’s very small and rather slow. So now we know where the name came from.
After watching the fish eat, regurgitate, and eat again, Ivette is off to clean. She makes Maggie’s coffee, and as Mags sits to drink it, Ivette is off cleaning some more. Probably stress-cleaning, which is probably better than stress-eating, but still something I’ve never been afflicted with.
They guess that their families must already be in town, and this is exciting to them. They think the live show might be held inside the house now, because of the rain outdoors. Maggie wants to go to the DR, and calls Ivette in with her. Ivette says that she wants to go in when Maggie is done, but Maggie says that what she has to say isn’t personal, so Ivette should come with her. Maybe Ivette wanted to vent or just talk to someone who doesn’t try to one-up her all the time? But Maggie of course doesn’t consider this.
Back from the diary room. Maggie laments that the pillows were left out in the rain. Not that they’re going to need them again or anything. She thinks BB should have told them it was raining. Ivette says that BB isn’t going to wake them up to tell them it’s raining. No kidding. Can you imagine how pissy Maggie would have been if BB woke them up to get the pillows from outside?
Maggie yaps about nursing, and mentions that the school she went to was in the top three nation wide for nursing. I wonder how she ever passed then, not even knowing what the largest bone in the human body is? Apparently she found a way to lie and get a break on her tuition. Nice. Ivette just sits there and lets Maggie talk.
Maggie says that she’s not nervous at all. She started getting nervous last night, but counted in her head to take her mind off of things. She describes in detail how she counted, and Ivette nods and makes appropriate sounds, but scurries off to wash the dishes. Then Ivette goes to the washroom, and when she comes back she asks Maggie why the human body can’t digest corn. Maggie doesn’t know, and Ivette says “You’re a horrible nurse”. Yeah, that’s what we’ve been saying all along.
They play cards in the kitchen while Maggie admires the clay houseguests that she made. She loves them – loves the boobies she put on Janelle and the little clay purse she made for Beau-Beau. Ivette grunts agreement every once in a while. Could it be that Ivette has finally had enough of Maggie Dearest? I know I have.
Now Ivette says that her stomach is “all tore up” – must be nerves. Maggie says that she’s only going to eat once today, because when she sees David she might faint. Then she says she needs to poop, and adds that she must be nervous if she’s “talking about shitting”. Maggie, have you even heard yourself at all this summer? I guess you were nervous every day.
Now they go through the “I love you! I’ll miss you! We’ll be best friends forever – or at least until I watch the tapes!” thing.
BB sends the girls to the HoH room for a lockdown. Ivette checks the bathroom to make sure everyone got their stuff out, and she finds the loofah. She asks Maggie if she wants it, and Maggie is thrilled to finally have a loofah. Do they not sell them in Vegas? Mags goes through all of the useless factoids that she memorized about the house but never got a chance to use. Or at least use with any effectiveness.
The cards come out, and Maggie wins the first game. Is it just me, or does Maggie explain every game after it’s done, to show Ivette why she won, or why she screwed up and let Ivette win?
They discuss how hard things were at first in the house, how Maggie didn’t know anyone and Ivette couldn’t talk about her girlfriend. Maggie thinks that Ivette should have come right out and said she was gay right from the start. Ivette says that Maggie took a big risk getting off the surfboard in the first challenge, and Maggie explains by saying that she had heard Rachel say that she liked “that guy Eric”, so she knew he wouldn’t go up. Of course Maggie didn’t care about herself, because she’s giving like that.
Maggie then goes on and on about how much stress she’s been under in the house. It’s a different kind of stress – she sees stress every day in the ER, but that’s life or death stress – this is like high school stress and she thinks she’ll have nightmares about it. This coming from the woman who keeps insisting she’s not stressed. And why wouldn’t the life or death stress be more intimidating than the BB stress? I’ve confused myself now, which is not hard to do after watching this pair for a few hours.
Maggie thinks that BB is screwing with them and lying about what time things will happen today. Argh. It’s over. The game is over. No one is screwing with you. The producers are not messing with you for good footage. Nobody is cheating, lying, deceiving, backstabbing, or messing with your “shit”. Enough already. Ivette announces that she’s not wearing underwear. Darnit, how am I supposed to look at her during the finale knowing that?
Lockdown is over, and after a quick bite to eat Ivette goes to shower with Maggie following right behind her. Maggie insists that Ivette uses her Pantene shampoo and conditioner. When Ivette gets out of the shower to dry her hair, Maggie plays solitaire on the floor right behind her. I wonder if she stalks David like this as he goes about his routine? And if she does, it’s no wonder that he encouraged her to do the show.
Maggie chirps that “it’s almost done!” about a dozen times, and then hops in the shower. Ivette says nothing. Maggie keeps yapping, but Ivette is still using the hair dryer so she has to keep stopping it to find out what Maggie is talking about. Maggie seems happy, but Ivette, notsomuch.
Maggie goes to get some water, and asks Ivette if she wants a refill. This type of conversation goes a little something like this:
M: Do you want some more water?
And this is not an isolated case – that’s what it always sounds like when Maggie asks Ivette if she wants or needs something. Prior to today though, there’s always been something else more interesting going on in the house to report on.
Out to the backyard now to take one last look around. Maggie checks Howie’s “whack shack” to see if anyone left anything in there – I cringe, but it’s empty. Whew. Ivette is sulking, and as Maggie chirps about all the “fun” they had out there (Ivette almost getting blown to bits by the grill being one of them), Ivette is pretty silent. Finally she says that she hates that there is only one winner. Maggie assures her that $50,000 is a lot of money, and she appears confident that this is the amount Ivette will end up with. Then Maggie says “I can’t believe my family didn’t even know I was doing this.” Uh, they’re allowed to tell their families – why did Maggie keep it a secret?
Maggie wonders out loud why she has a headache. I don’t know Mags, but I know why I have one. They’re both very excited to see Crappy again. No comment needed – that one speaks for itself. Ivette admits that she can’t stop thinking about April telling her that she pissed off a lot of people on the jury. It just keeps going through her head.
They go back inside, and Maggie plays solitaire while Ivette wanders around. Maggie says she’s crawling under her skin. She opens a can of what appears to be Diet Pepsi, but it’s flat. She tries another one – flat again. They check the date on the cans, and they’ve all expired. Heehee – how far in advance did BB buy this stuff, I wonder? Maggie lets out a burp that could possibly be the loudest I have ever heard. She’s been belching all day long, but this one is massive.
It’s now an hour before the live show. One more hour of feeds. Hurrah! Maggie is so nervous now that she wonders if she will have a heart attack. I’m guessing probably not, but time will tell. She goes to put her makeup on, and tells Ivette exactly what she’s doing as she’s doing it, and what she plans to do when she’s done. When Ivette doesn’t respond enthusiastically, Maggie says that she’s disintegrating right in front of her eyes. That would make for an interesting finale – Maggie keels over from a heart attack, and Ivette spontaneously combusts. I wonder if Janelle would win the money then?
Ivette walks around the backyard for a bit, and then goes to lay down in the dorm room. Remember, she took three hours to get ready for the last live show when Janie was evicted, but now she has about 40 minutes left, and she hasn’t even started. She finally gets up and throws on her slinky outfit. Maggie is dressed too, and they tell each other how great they look. Ivette finally goees to the bathroom to begin makeup application and putting her hair into her lucky hairdo.
They pack their things and bring the bags out, while Maggie trills “It’s almost time!” Then they have to walk around the house and say goodbye to everything. Fun stuff. They go to the storage room, where Maggie shouts, “Bye, storage room!” and Ivette mumbles “Thank you for all the wonderful food, BB.” They go to the dorm room, where Maggie asks Ivette to say goodbye to her two pillows. The ones on the bed, I mean. More yelling goodbye to inanimate objects from Maggie, as Ivette trails behind her looking like she’s going to puke.
Maggie stops the house tour to play solitaire one last time, while Ivette goes quietly to the memory wall and says, “Thank you BB. It’s been crazy and wonderful.” She goes back to where Maggie is, and thanks her for believing in her all summer. Oh Ivette, wait until you see the mind games Maggie was playing with you all along. I wonder how you’ll feel then?
Maggie laments the fact that she smells bad, and there’s nothing she can do about it. She’s showered, put on deodorant and perfume, but she still smells bad. Could be that you’re rotting from the inside out there, Mags. They both tell BB that they’re ready. Because they think that BB was just waiting on them to start the show or something, I guess.
They start playing cards again, with five minutes to go. Maggie says again that it’s almost time … and cut to the fish tank. This time we ain’t coming back folks. It’s a wrap.
I’d like to take a moment now to say thank you. Thank you to LauraBelle for the awesome feed recaps, and all of your hard work on the House Calls recaps. They’re fabulous, and you rock. Thank you to Syrone and dirtydog, who covered the episodes for us with flair and wit. You’re both amazing. Thank you to the cast of Big Brother 6, every single one of you, for giving me so much to work with this season.
Thanks to everyone who signed up for the feeds through us. And thanks to those of you who visited and clicked on the ads at the top of the page. Every little bit helps, and that helped a lot.
Most of all, thank you to all of you who read these recaps this season. A huge thank you to those of you who sent us e-mail – I can’t tell you how good it feels to get feedback on this kind of labour of love, and LauraBelle and I both truly appreciate it. Personally, I received lots of compliments, a few jabs, one rant from an enraged nerd herd fan, lots of supportive comments for the Sovereigns, and even a marriage proposal. Heehee.
LauraBelle is now busy covering The Biggest Loser, Starting Over, and she’ll be picking up The Amazing Race next week. I’ll be covering The Apprentice Martha Stewart (’cause you just know there will be a need for snark with that one) and interviewing this season’s America’s Next Top Model eliminees. And of course we’ll be back in about nine months to bring you Big Brother 7. Already, I can’t wait!
We’ve also got daily coverage of House Calls, the internet talk show featuring Marcellas Reynolds.
Want even more Marcellas? Read his candid interview with Reality Shack
You can reach me with comments or questions at firstname.lastname@example.org – I’d love to hear your thoughts on the season.