So, we had a great first two episodes and I guess a step backwards isn’t that big of a deal. I think after most of us witnessed the events of the first two we all realized that some of the people on this season were really not long for the world of Survivor. Incompetence in challenges, inability to communicate at camp, and utter annoyance just means that some folks are either early cannon fodder, or just horrible enough for savvy players to keep around at a voting foil at the end.
I feel confident in saying that Nina, Will, Mike and Shirin are four such players. Not that they aren’t really nice people, or successful at what they do in the real world – but so far after over a week in the controlled jungle of Survivor…they are not cutting it. Let’s take them one at a time, and add one more for good luck.
Mike – Oh boy. I am not too sure if Mike has actually watched a season of Survivor, or if he just based it on the descriptions friends of relatives who read about Survivor 10 years ago provided to him. Yes, it is very important to have a well functioning camp. You really can’t sit around all day and assume the work will get done. However, one thing is for certain…if you do the opposite, your tribe will hate you.
Mike needs to listen to Lloyd Dobbler and chill! When the show does a montage of anything done by a Survivor…you know it is bad. Last week, it was a montage of Nina and her tribe failing to communicate. This week, it was of Mike chopping wood. Mike is pissed that he feels like he’s doing all of the hard work. Lindsey sums up the Blues rather accurately by stating that Blue Collar workers love to critique others’ work ethic because they each think they do it better. Very wise observation.
Mike’s proverbial nailing himself on the cross took a poor turn when he got on Rodney’s case for the last time. Rodney wanted to know if there was a “C” on Mike’s shirt, a sports reference to a player being selected as team captain. Rodney wants to eat before he helps get the firewood. Mike wants him to do it now. Rodney doesn’t like morning wood. Mike likes it quite a bit. Most guys? Big fans.
Rodney goes to get the wood and tosses it violently in the corner as Mike pleads his martyr case to the ladies. And then Lindsey owns him. She rips into him about how they cook the food, help with the chores and keeps the fire going. He doesn’t seem to be willing to give her the props, and she exclaims, “How to f*** do you think the fire got there? Your God? Did he make it with his beard?” Snerk.
Mike’s takeaway? Offended because of the blasphemy. Sigh. Totally missed the point and likely will never see the point. Rodney said it earlier, “ain’t nobody gonna be my daddy” out on the show. Mike can’t see the others and is amazed that they don’t see him the way he sees himself. Classic.
Shirin – Let me just point out…I like Shirin. However, her tribe doesn’t seem as much into her. I can’t imagine why – who doesn’t like a long, aggressive eyewitness account of Howler Monkey After Dark? Personally, I love learning about the mating of monkeys. I would especially enjoy it after several days of sleep, food and water depravation. Carolyn thinks Shirin is crazy and can’t imagine how she survived in Corporate America. Shirin can’t imagine how the monkeys don’t want to snuggle after sex.
Later, the tribe is going idol searching – something we incredibly don’t see the Blues and Nos doing – despite the fact that Carolyn already has it. Shirin and Max are going together, while Joaquin is off trying on his own. Remember, he was aligned with So and is on the outs with the tribe. Shirin suggests a truce in the search because, obviously, it is a fruitless endeavor. He chooses to be a dick. He compares her to a mosquito, and I am comparing him to a dick. That seems fair.
Joaquin – or Joaq, as Tyler calls him…or guac as I heard it the first time – tells her she needs to find it. Shirin calls him on this and tries to bait him into telling her that she is on the outs, not him. He is increasingly dismissive and obnoxious. My read? He thinks he’s a stud. And maybe he is back home – maybe his charms work on a lot of women. However, if a woman fails to fall for his brand of bro charm, then he has no use for her. This is textbook. Shirin sees through him and so he wants to get rid of her. Shirin and I have a common enemy here, so I am hopeful that he’s not long for the game.
The interesting part is that Guac shared the clue with Tyler. Now, as we all know, it mattered very little since Tyler is aware of Carolyn’s possession of the idol. However, it could lead to a pairing of these guys which could lead to some interesting drama with the Whites. The 4-1 vs. Guac seems most likely, but who knows what’s going to go down now.
Will – He seems like a nice guy. I have great respect for anyone who can dance and sing in public and not feel self-conscious. So, I can see how he got cast on the show. He’s, well, interesting. He also has a sharp wit. He could be a lot of fun if he lasts this season. Unfortunately, I can’t see him lasting very long.
Yet again, Will struggled physically during the challenge. All of the Nos were winded thanks to Pretty Boy Joe’s moronic strategy, but Will was even more winded. This trend does not bode well for him long term. His only hope, in my opinion, is that the Nos start to win challenges. If he can make it to the merge, then his failings in challenges will actually help him stick around. But that’s still a few episodes away. And the Nos better start shaping up.